03rd Feb2013

Super Why?

by Mr. Joseph

Super Bowl XLVII - image courtesy ibtimes.comIn a few hours, the culmination of the 2012-13 NFL season will commence with Super Bowl XLVII. The game features the AFC Champion Baltimore Ravens squaring off against the NFC Champion San Francisco 49ers. The game promises to be an exciting one, with Niners QB sensation Colin Kapernick running the Pistol formation against Ray Lewis, Ed Reed, Haloti Ngata and the vaunted Ravens defense. Or, if you prefer, the running attack of Ray Rice against Patrick Willis and the tenacious 49ers defense. I could go into plenty of platitudes about each team in general and the season as as whole, but that’s not the purpose of this post. The purpose comes from an opinion piece I saw on CBS News Sunday Morning earlier today from contributor Conor Knighton.

In the opinion piece (which you can find in prose here), he laments going to a Super Bowl party and having to pretend he knows what he’s talking about. He waxes poetic about how much time watching an entire season of Ravens games would take, not to mention how time consuming watching football itself is. It’s a bit mind-boggling, but not for the reasons you may think.

I find it mind-boggling because…well…why do something you have no interest in? If you don’t watch football, don’t go to a Super Bowl party because you think you’re obligated to do so. That’s like me watching the newest Lifetime movie because Erica Durance is in it. I’m sorry; I don’t care how fine I think Erica Durance is, I ain’t watchin’ her in a Lifetime movie. Allison Mack? Maybe. Erica Durance? No.

Erica Durance - NOT Lifetime movie hot

 

Look, the bottom line is this: don’t complain about “having” to go to a Super Bowl party, because you don’t HAVE to do anything but live until you die from it. Just don’t take that enjoyment away from those of us who do like football. The side-eyes you would receive from that would be enough to obliterate both the Louisiana Superdome and whatever structure was built to replace it.

Now, as far as my rooting interest goes…as I’ve mentioned before, I’m a Washington Redskins fan. Have been for 25 years, and don’t plan on dropping that support anytime soon. That being said, Washington’s season ended when Rookie of the Year Robert Griffin III tore both his ACL and LCL on the crappy turf at FedEx Field (thanks, Dan Snyder…bloody moron). So, since Washington’s long gone, I’ve decided to throw my support behind the San Francisco 49ers.

Why?

Well, part of it is because I like Jim Harbaugh. Sure, he’s borderline psychotic, but he’s an emotional coach, and he loves his players. Another part of it is that the Ray Lewis lovefest is about to make me throw up. But, it’s mostly because of my best friend of 17 years. He’s a die hard 49ers fan, and I think it’d be cool to see him get the chance to celebrate a Super Bowl victory again. Although, it’d be cool to see Ray Lewis win a title so he can kneel at the 50 yard line and ascend directly into heaven.

Category : Current Events, Personal, Sports
Tags : , , , , , , , ,
0 Comm
18th Dec2012

Fantasy Follies

by Mr. Joseph

I’ve had a really good run of bad luck with fantasy football.

As I do every season for the past ten years (more or less), I play fantasy football. I do this every year, knowing that I’m going to be inherently terrible and possibly finish near or at the bottom. I don’t do it to win anything, although it would be nice. This year I had teams in three leagues, and – as of today – my seasons have gone as follows:

AKAVSBFM Fantasy Football

The Starfleet Academy Cadets came into this season wistful and hoping to knock some heads. The regular season ended with the Cadets taking a 7-6 record into the playoffs. After an upset win over opening round opponent Alabama Ass Whuppin’, the Cadets fell to Mike’s Maritime Men 66-39. I would’ve lost that game anyway, regardless of leaving Danny Amendola on the bench. Why did I leave him on the bench? Because he missed about three straight games this season, and I figured he’d miss yet another one. Oops. At least I have the third place game to look forward to next week.

Bad Boyz 4 Life

The Gryffindor Lions were an amazing disaster. The Lions went 0-10 to start the season, and ended with a 2-11 record, thanks in no small part to Matthew Stafford’s ineptitude to get the ball to Calvin Johnson. The playoffs were even worse, where I couldn’t even win the 11th Place Game. Just abysmal all around. Maybe next year I’ll…yeah, right. At least my loss ensures the league will exist for at least one more season due to a bet I made with my best friend to see who’d have the worst season. Maybe I can go double or nothing next year; whaddya say?

BlazerTalk II

This was a new one for me. The Legion came in as newcomers to the league, and wound up finishing in second place with a 9-4-1 record, despite the lackluster efforts of Matthew Stafford and Calvin Johnson (again; damn Madden Curse!). Then, the playoffs came, and The Legion was one and done for the championship crown. I have a semifinal game in the consolation bracket, so I’m fighting for that one.

So, outside of the disaster that was Bad Boyz 4 Life, I did okay this season, with two games left to go, and the possibility for one more.

We’ll see how that works out for me.

Category : Entertainment, Personal, Sports
Tags : , , , , , ,
0 Comm
23rd Feb2012

Popped!

by Mr. Joseph

Let me get this out of the way now, before I completely go off the rails: I am not a journalist.  I’m a blogger.  I have no journalistic rules to follow.  I can let fly whatever I feel the need to, and I do it not out of malice, but out of the need to get some things off my chest.  I choose to follow some of the laws of journalism because I feel it’s the right thing to do in certain aspects.  I may let some mean-spirited things fly, but it’s not because I hate her; I have no real hate for no one.  I let them fly because I’m being cantankerous, and it’s cathartic.  Never in anything I write will you find me calling anyone a racist name.  The only reason I’d even mention that would be if I were quoting someone.  It would never come out willingly.  Thank you for your time, and your readership.

Okay……*deep breath*

This is a subject that I had no prior knowledge of until today.  One of the many podcasts I listen to is a podcast called “Let’s Do This!!!” It’s a part of a movie and video game review website called Spill.com, and the entire site is full of goodness.  I highly recommend anyone interested in either movies or video games or just interested in entertaining conversations altogether, should check it out.  But, enough of the commercial for Spill.com.  The latest episode of Let’s Do This!!! pointed out an article that was…well..disturbing.

K-Pop star Jenny Hyun was filled with rage by the following tweet by boxer Floyd “Money” Mayweather:

Her response?  Well…let’s just say she didn’t begin a twitter tirade in response to Mayweather lightly.

What?!

As much as I would like to dissect this piece by piece, it would be time consuming, and quite frankly, she’s not worth that much of my time.  Something has served to make me laugh, though; this following portion:

Why?

WHY?!

YOU JUST SAID IT, YOU DUMBO!

Your conclusion may be unbiased, but your maturity level is low.  My daughter is more mature than you are, and she isn’t even a year old yet!  It’s like this…you don’t pull out every racist tirade in the book, up to and including the genocide of an entire group of people!  FOR ONE IDIOT!

Also, I don’t really think posting this meme on your website is going to garner you a whole lot of support from anyone:

Neither are your non-apologies:

You don’t regret what you said?  Cool. I don’t regret writing and posting this blog as a retort.  Sure, violence isn’t the answer, but at least you’re not saying that people are infringing on your Freedom of Speech rights, because they’re exercising the same rights themselves.

As am I.

Look…Floyd Mayweather doesn’t speak for the entire black race, just like I don’t think you speak for all Koreans.  If you two want to go into an insane death match against each other, be my guest.  But, please don’t lump everyone into the same tub of shit just because you don’t agree with one festering imbecile.  Take your frustrations out on him…not on everyone else.

Hopefully, she’ll take her own words to heart:

Sources: Soompi.com – K-Pop Songwriter’s Racist Tweets Spark Outrage, Asian Junkie.com – Jenny Hyun, Songwriter For SNSD & Chocolate, Is a Racist Psychopath, Spill.com – Let’s Do This!!! – February 20, 2012

Category : Current Events, Entertainment, Sports
Tags : , , , , ,
0 Comm
20th Feb2012

Lin-sane Punishment

by Mr. Joseph

NEW YORK, NY - FEBRUARY 19: Jeremy Lin #17 of the New York Knicks takes a jump shot over Dirk Nowitzki #41 of the Dallas Mavericks during the game on February 19, 2012 at Madison Square Garden in New York City. (Photo by Nathaniel S. Butler/NBAE via Getty Images)

Okay, as I’ve mentioned before, I am a Dan Patrick fan. Ive been following his career since he and Keith Olbermann made SportsCenter a household name.  As such, I’ve tended to side with him when it comes to certain matters, be it sports or otherwise. This…is one of those times.

The New York Knicks have been in the news lately, thanks in large part to the insane play of their point guard Jeremy Lin.  Jeremy Lin is a Taiwanese-American basketball player from Palo Alto, California. He went to Harvard and had a pretty good collegiate career. He wasn’t drafted in the NBA, but he got picked up by the Golden State Warriors. They didn’t know what to do with him, so he got released and picked up by Houston.  They had far too many point guards on their roster, so they let him go and he got picked up by the Knicks. They were a stone’s throw away from cutting him until an injury to Carmelo Anthony and a tragedy in Amare’ Stoudamire’s life set up a chance for Jeremy Lin to step up and play ball.

And, play ball he did.

The Knicks went from a blubbering mess of a team to winners of – as of this writing – eight of their last nine, and Linsanity has swept the nation.  With that comes clever puns on his last name (my favorite is “Super Lintendo Entertainment System”) and celebrity matchmakers (Kim Kardashian has hovered her black hole of fame towards him…with hilarious results).  Also, there comes controversy.

A few days ago, ESPN’s Mobile Site put up a headline following the Knicks’ 89-85 loss to the decaying carcass of the New Orleans Hornets that read as follows:

ESPN Mistake

Also, a broadcaster for ESPNews was talking to legendary Knicks point guard and current commentator Walt “Clyde” Frazier about Lin, and he said the same thing.  ESPN fired the headline writer and suspended the broadcaster for 30 days.  Now, in listening to Dan Patrick, he says that ESPN should’ve had someone to proofread the headline, and probably shouldn’t have suspended the commentator for so long.  I can agree with that.  I’m not just saying that because I am not a fan of “The W0rldwide Leader,” because that would be hypocritical.  To paraphrase Dan, they’re a multibillion dollar organization, and they can’t spring for an editor for their mobile site?  In my opinion, both people should’ve been suspended for two weeks without pay.  To completely fire one and suspend the other for a month is ridiculous.

Eventually, companies and corporations are going to have to start taking responsibility for their own actions instead of just pruning those who have sullied their image.  And, no…one is not mutually exclusive of the other.  But, I guess this is why I’m not in charge of a company or a corporation, because I will accept responsibility for the actions of my company and make the steps to ensure that it doesn’t happen again.  There is a such a thing as sensitivity training, and maybe ESPN should’ve used it instead of cutting off their noses to spite their face.

Of course, this is just my opinion…I could be wrong.

Category : Current Events, Sports
Tags : , , ,
0 Comm
10th Nov2011

Disgraceful Lion

by Mr. Joseph

We all know what’s been going on with Penn State University. It’s in the news, it’s in the atmosphere, it’s in cyberspace. I’ve remained silent on this, but here’s how I feel about it.

What Paterno did was right…by the letter of the law. Jim Tressel got the boot from Ohio State for not reporting what was going on with his players. Paterno ran it up the chain of command, and he probably felt that was good enough.

Morally, Paterno was wrong. Dead wrong. Your grad student tells you what he saw, you tell him to call the police. Then, you call the police. Then, you run it up the chain of command. As a civilization, we disagree on many things: politics, sports, food. Mistreatment of a child is not one of them. Be it neglect, abuse, or – in this case – rape, you mess with a child, you have to go. You know it’s bad when hardened prisoners will do everything they can to end you if they find out you hurt a child.

Now, let’s look at the aftermath in a few different ways.

What does this mean for the victims? Well, they haven’t been vindicated yet. There will have to be financial restitution, as well as psychological care for them. Abuse of any form leaves a stigma that can’t be erased. Sexual abuse is even worse. They’re gonna need help for a Very. Long. Time. The important thing to remember in all of this is that they were taken advantage of, and they shouldn’t be cast aside in this.

What does this mean for the athletic program? First things first, Paterno’s gone. If the AD isn’t gone, he should be. The Penn State football program needs a Hollywood-style reboot. They need to let this season ride out, and that be the end of it. Clean house and start over.

What does this mean for Penn State? The students should be ashamed of themselves. They rioted because a football coach got fired. Never mind the reasoning behind it. For all they know, Paterno’s gone, and so is their season. At the moment, they couldn’t care less. It’s my hope that, in the days and weeks to come, they realize what actually went on, and the light switch is flipped in their head.

Also, with the university president fired, the Board of Trustees need to go and find a candidate that will continue the healing process and get them going in the right direction.

Just remember: the season is irrelevant at this point. The most important thing right now is caring for the victims. They are the ones who were hurt the most by this. Not Penn State football.

Category : Current Events, Sports
Tags : , , ,
0 Comm
07th Aug2011

What’s Your Fantasy?

by Mr. Joseph

Okay, so today was the annual Fantasy Football draft for my best friend’s fantasy football league. I’ve been participating in this league for at least four years, but I think it’s been much more than that. Anyway, I tend to name my team based on what my favorite movie was at the time. Past couple of years it was Starfleet Academy, but this year I made a change. This year, I named my team the Gryffindor Lions after the House of Gryffindor in the Harry Potter universe.

Don’t judge me.

Anyway, normally we get together online and have a big joke session while we pick our teams, but this year was a bit different…at least it was for me. I had to miss my draft this year; so, I called myself ranking my players in an attempt to not do so horrendously via the computer’s choice. I’ve seen the computer draft before, and I think the team that the computer drafted was the worst in the league. This was not the fate I wanted.

From the looks of things, my first two picks (Philip Rivers and Vincent Jackson) went okay, but after that, the proverbial train flew off the rails. No, it wasn’t the Hogwarts Express; shut up. Most of the people I ranked were already taken, so I was left with whatever the computer chose. After looking at the results, I don’t really think it was so bad after all – a couple of players notwithstanding.

Anyway, here is my team, with their team and draft order included:

Philip Rivers – QB – San Diego (1st round)

Vincent Jackson – WR – San Diego (2nd round)

Marques Colston – WR – New Orleans (3rd round)

Shaun Smith – DT – Tennessee Titans (4th round)

Darnell Dockett – DT – Arizona Cardinals (5th round)

Cassius Vaughn – CB Denver Broncos (6th round)

Jeremy Maclin – WR – Philadelphia Eagles (7th round)

Daniel Thomas – RB – Miami Dolphins (8th round)

Ryan Grant – RB – Green Bay Packers (9th round)

Zach Miller – TE – Seattle Seahawks (10th round)

Sebastian Janikowski – K – Oakland Raiders (11th round)

Michael Adams – CB – Arizona Cardinals (12th round)

Antonio Smith – DE – Houston Texans (13th round)

Brandon Peguese – LB – Philadelphia Eagles (14th round)

Cardia Jackson – LB – Green Bay Packers (15th round)

Mikel LeShoure – RB – Detroit Lions (16th round)

Jonathan Stewart – RB – Carolina Panthers (17th round)

Steve Smith – WR – Carolina Panthers (18th round)

Ryan Fitzpatrick – QB – Buffalo Bills (19th round – jinxed by Brett’s brother)

Visanthe Shiancoe – TE – Minnesota Vikings (20th round)

Garrett Hartley – K – New Orleans Saints (21st round)

Reggie Corner – CB – Buffalo Bills (22nd round)

On second thought…I’m screwed.

UPDATE: What makes my fantasy football team look even more like a disaster this season? Mikel LeShoure is done for the season with a torn Achilles’ tendon. Rah, Rah, Gryffindor?

Category : Personal, Sports
Tags : , ,
1 Comm
15th Sep2010

Do You Think I’m Sexy?

by Mr. Joseph

Not me, because the answer to that is an overwhelming “no.”  I mean, I’m not a troll, but I’m not gonna win any modeling contracts anytime soon.  Anyway, this isn’t about me.  This is about something entirely different.  This is about this woman:

Ines Sainz And this team:

New York Jets

In case you’ve been living under a rock or something, the woman pictured above is the primary cause of the team listed below being investigated by the NFL for improper conduct.

The woman in question is Ines Sainz, and she is an entertainment reporter for TV Azteca in Mexico.  She is also a former Miss Mexico and Miss Universe contestant.

For more on her, Google Images is your friend.  You’re welcome.

Anyway, Miss Sainz was in New York to interview Mark Sanchez, and she was subjected to multiple catcalls from Jets players in the locker room.  Now, let me just go on the record as saying that the Jets players should know how to act when they see a beautiful woman, and let’s make no bones about it; she is indeed a beautiful woman.  However, no one – man or woman – should be subjected to what could be considered harassing behavior at work.

Now, Miss Sainz isn’t completely devoid of innocence in this, either.  The picture above is the tamest one I could find.  She did an interview with Fox News, and she was wearing a shirt with buttons that served absolutely no purpose whatsoever.  In fact, said buttons were holding on for dear life.  I listen to the Dan Patrick Show on a daily basis, and he had a female caller named Belinda and call in and explain how she felt:

“If you’re going to be a professional, you should dress like a professional…if you’re gonna walk in there with your business hanging out and your stuff tight up against your jeans, guys are gonna say something.”

Remember; this is a woman saying this; these aren’t Mr. Joseph’s words.  Personally, I believe you can wear whatever the hell you want; if you want to go do an in-depth interview with a politician wearing a string bikini and flip-flops, be my guest.  However, don’t be surprised if people frown upon that or react in a way that wouldn’t be deemed professional.

After all, there is something to be said about professional dress in a professional environment.

UPDATE: This isn’t the first time I’ve discussed my feelings about an error in judgment when it comes to reporters and sports; I talked about the Hannah Storm/Tony Kornheiser debacle a few months ago.  You can find that here.

Category : Current Events, Entertainment, Sports
Tags : , , ,
1 Comm
09th Jun2010

Random Ramblings, Part I

by Mr. Joseph

Back in the days of MySpace, I used to post random blogs every now and then.  It wasn’t much, and it wasn’t all that informative.  It was just a way for me to get a few things off my mind.  I also used it as an excuse to write something when I had nothing major to talk about.  Oh, and guess what?  I have nothing major to talk about now, so it’s time for some random ramblings!  Yay…

  • I hate being micromanaged.  My discontent for being micromanaged would be better suited for an actual blog entry, but because I don’t really feel like hurting someone’s feelings, I’ll just keep it to this short mention.
  • I’m sure hockey is great.  In fact, I’m sure hockey is fantastic.  However, I have about as much understanding about hockey as most people understood about Japanese anime about 16 years ago.  This is more mind-boggling because I’m watching hockey as we speak.  Granted it’s Game 6 of the Stanley Cup Finals, but I don’t understand the game at all.
  • Nebraska’s apparent departure from the Big XII Conference could possibly signify the end of the conference itself, as well as signify the end of college football as we knew it last season.  Of course, it could also be a lot of sturm und drang for nothing.  We’ll find out soon enough.
  • People need to chill out about wanting President Obama to show his anger toward BP.  If it’s anything I know for certain, no one wants to see another angry black man.
  • Pizza + beer is good.  Excess of pizza + beer…not so much.  Excess of pizza + beer = acid reflux.  It also equals Mr. Joseph not being able to sleep – on top of feeling discombobulated and nauseous.
  • I miss my family.  The majority of them may only be 3 1/2 hours away, but that doesn’t mean I can’t miss them.  I may have to make a trip home soon.
  • Speaking of family, I miss my mom, but she’s in the middle of a military recall, and I can’t see her.  Not because she’s over there, but because I’m short on funds.
  • I haven’t listened to popular music in at least 10 years.  Something tells me I’m not really missing anything.
  • On that note, I don’t quite understand people who stan for certain artists.  Do your really think they give a damn about you?  Seriously?  If you do, then I have a bridge to sell you.
  • Is it football season yet?
  • Dear BP, you’re full of shit.  Dear people who are against big government but are requesting assistance from big government, you’re full of shit.

I’m sure there’s more on my mind at the moment, but I think I’ve rambled enough for one day.  Maybe there’ll be more later.  We’ll see.

Category : Current Events, Entertainment, Personal, Politics, Relationships, Sports
Tags : , , , ,
2 Comm
25th Apr2010

Weekly Wonders

by Mr. Joseph

NOTE: I’m apologizing in advance for if this comes off as convoluted, confused, or otherwise weird.  I’m functioning off of barely five hours of sleep; the reason for which I will explain momentarily.

I know I said I would do a weekly update; I know this.  It’s not like I haven’t wanted to.  Sometimes, there are days when absolutely nothing happens.  Then, there are times where the Earth explodes, and I can’t shut up.  This week started off as one of those, and ended up as something else altogether.

It started off fine; I went back to work after a kick-ass weekend, and I figured the week would be utterly mundane; after all, most of my weeks are utterly mundane.  My timeline usually goes as follows: wake up, go to work, come home, go to sleep.  Wash, rinse, repeat.  Work is generally boring and micromanaged for no damn reason, then I come home and do one of four things: practice my guitar (still terrible), play a video game, watch TV, or – if I’m feeling particularly creative – I’ll work on one of my two stories.  Monday was a TV day for a little bit, then I got bored and decided to watch paint dry.

That is, until I got the news that almost brought me to tears.  I’m still affected by it, just not as bad as I was before.  No need to rehash it, though; it’s there for reading.

I got an E-Mail, a couple of phone calls, and a meeting that intrigued me and could be very enlightening.  I’m not gonna talk about them yet, because I want to be sure that it actually happens first.  Yes, I know the phrases “speak it into existence” and “claim it in His name,” but I also know the phrase “don’t count your chickens before they hatch.”  So, I’m not.  I will say this much, though; a rooster?  Nice touch.

Now, Thursday was newsworthy for a couple of reasons.  First of all, let me say this up front: I’m a wrestling fan.  Yeah, I know it’s scripted and a great deal of it is choreographed, but I don’t care: it’s entertainment for me, and I like it.  Anyway, I hop on the computer after work to find that the WWE – that bastion of integrity and honesty – has released several wrestlers (even though they don’t like that word), including one of my all-time favorites, Mickie James.  I followed her throughout her WWE career, from when she was a psycho heel lusting over Trish Stratus – something guys did anyway – to when she was a bouncing, giggly face performer being called fat for no damn reason by a woman who is about as thick as a mechanical pencil lead.

Seriously, she's not fat.

Anyway, they released her, and that pissed me off; she’s a great worker, and an even better person.  Reading the reason they said they released her is silly in and of itself.  They claim it was because she was holding the bus up on their trip to Europe, as well as her weight.  She’s 5’2” and 125lbs; that’s not fat.

I promise you, she's not fat!

Personally, I think the reason  they released her is because she’s about to start a country music career, and Vince McMahon wants to let her go as a result.  So, that’s fine, Vince; Mickie James was the last reason I kept watching your crappy show – especially after Shawn Michaels retired.  So, guess what, Vince?  I’m gone, too.  Don’t like it?  Kiss my ass.

Sam Bradford, welcome to St. Louis. And, the ER.Now, Thursday was also the start of the NFL Draft.  The draft usually takes place on the weekend, but they decided to stretch it out over three days, starting Thursday with the first round in prime time, continuing Friday with the second and third rounds in prime time, and culminating with the fourth through seventh rounds on Saturday.  This was purely a ratings grab that was as cheap as it was effective, because it worked.  It most certainly sucked me in.

As I’m sure I’ve mentioned before, I’m a football fan.  I love it, and I hate this time of year when there are no games going on.  I love this time of year for other reasons, but we’re not talking about that right now.  The draft serves two purposes for me: one, it allows me to see whether or not I need to take a hot poker to Daniel Snyder’s eye for making a ridiculously stupid pick (thankfully, I didn’t have to) and to see who gets picked insanely high for no damn reason (Tyson Alualu at 10?  Our Lord and Savior Tim Tebow at 25?  REALLY?!); and two, it gives me a fleeting football fix.  Granted, it’s only minor, but it’ll have to do until the season starts.  Also, UAB QB Joe Webb got drafted in the sixth round by the Minnesota Vikings.  That brought a smile to my face, although the prognosticators were saying it would happen in the fifth.  I don’t care, though; as long as he’s in the league, I’m happy.

Prince will be waiting for you.

Finally, my wife has been having problems with shortness of breath and chest pains.  It got so bad last night that I had to take her to the Emergency Room last night at about 12:30.  She had a really bad cold about a week or two ago, and she may have gotten better, but there were probably some lingering effects from that.  Long story short, it turns out that it may be acid reflux or something similar.  I’m gonna give her some Tylenol and some Pepcid and see if that helps.  I’m just glad it wasn’t anything serious; I don’t know how I’d handle that.

What will this week hold?  Only time will tell, but we’ll see where the ride takes me.

Category : Current Events, Personal, Sports
0 Comm
Pages:12»
Next Page »