03rd Jul2011

Gone Dark

by Mr. Joseph

With the 4th of July weekend upon us, what better way to celebrate than to go to the movies and watch stuff get blowed up real good? There’s isn’t, so that’s what I did. Yesterday, my wife and I took in Transformers: Dark of the Moon. The Paramount film, rated PG-13, stars Shia LaBoeuf, Josh Duhamel, John Turturro, Tyrese Gibson, Rosie Huntington-Whitely, Patrick Dempsey, John Malkovich, Frances McDormand, and the voices of Peter Cullen, Hugo Weaving, Leonard Nimoy, Charles Adler, Jess Harnell, and Frank Welker. Reading the novelization of this movie gave me such joy and hope for the film. Then, I read the reviews. Which way would I lean on this? Let’s find out.

The film begins with a battle on Cybertron being narrated by Optimus Prime (Peter Cullen). He explains that a shuttle piloted by Sentinel Prime (Leonard Nimoy) that had untold technology was leaving Cybertron when it was attacked and left to drift aimlessly through space. It ends up crashing on the moon in 1961, which kicks off the space race. In 1969, Neil Armstrong and Buzz Aldrin accept a special mission by Sector Seven to investigate the crash landing. They discover the Ark, and set about collecting information to bring to Earth. Fast forward to present day, where Sam Witwicky (Shia LaBoeuf) is living with his new girlfriend, Carly Spencer (Rosie Huntington-Whitely) and struggling to find a job post-graduation. He eventually finds one – thanks to Dylan Gould (Patrick Dempsey), Carly’s boss – where things are not as they seem. It turns out that the Decepticons are killing humans now, and the movie kicks off from there.

So, what worked in this movie? Well, the score was great – as usual. Steve Jablonsky really put a lot of work into this one, and it shows. Quite a bit of the CGI looked good as well. as some of the action scenes were quite epic. One scene in particular that involved Shia LaBoeuf, Bumblebee, errant Decepticon vehicles, and an awesome transformation sequence, was done very well. For a newcomer, Rosie Huntington-Whitely was very capable in her role, and Tyrese Gibson didn’t annoy me like I thought he would. Quite a bit of the cinematography was sweeping as well, and it didn’t include the usual Bay-isms like I thought they would. Now, if it seems like I’m stretching, that’s because I am.

Now, what didn’t work? In short, everything else. John Malkovich must have been broke in making this movie, because he was horrible and pointless. Ken Jeong had a brief moment in here that was Hangover-like, but it actually read better than it displayed onscreen. Julie White and Kevin Dunn – while they didn’t annoy me too much in the beginning – really pissed me off about halfway through this one. Actually, let me take that back…Julie White’s character pissed me off. After her rant about how her own son could only get beautiful women based on…well…size, I checked out of the movie. I tried to check back in later, but by that time, it was too late. I no longer cared, and I just wanted it to end.

Michael Bay returns to direct this movie, and it’s at this point where I implore him to stop. Michael Bay should just create a whole new genre of movies: Pornographic Action. Why? Because that appears to be all he’s good at. He can direct the hell out of an action scene, but Carly’s introduction screen was filmed so erotically that I could’ve sworn someone ran out to go get a tissue. After another one of her scenes, my wife turned to me and pointed out that he has no respect for his female leads. Honestly, I couldn’t help but agree. When it came to directing Shia LaBoeuf, it’s almost as if he told him to just scream and act skittish all the time. That worked well in the first one, a little bit of it worked in the second one. In this one, it was grating.

Hate is a very strong word. I try my best not to use it unless I absolutely have to. In this case, I think it’s apropos; I hated this movie. It was a giant bag of fail, and it really made me angry. I don’t go to the movies to be angry, I go to be entertained. Outside of the score, there was nothing to entertain me in this film at all, and that hurts me to say, because I grew up with the Transformers, and I am a huge fan of the franchise. It’s my hope that they reboot this in a few years and get a director who actually wants to do the movie and isn’t in it for a paycheck. I should’ve known I was in trouble when my brother-in-law said it was the best movie he had ever seen, because our likes in movies are counterpoint to each other. So, with that being said, I give this movie what it earnestly deserves: the Batman & Robin of the More Epic than Love Jones scale. Don’t waste your time, your money, or your energy on this. I got free passes, and I wish I could get my money back. That alone should tell you something.

To Michael Bay, from the bottom of my heart…fuck you.

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1 Comm
19th Jun2011

Super Nostalgic

by Mr. Joseph

Today, I had the opportunity for a rare two-fer for the weekend, and there was no better way to celebrate that than to watch a movie. Today’s movie was the Paramount Pictures film Super 8. The film, which is rated PG-13, stars Joel Courtney, Elle Fanning, Riley Griffiths, Zach Mills, Gabriel Basso, Ryan Lee, Noah Emmerich, and Kyle Chandler. This film was shrouded in secrecy from day one, and the trailers hid a lot of what the movie had to offer. Some people touted it as the best film they had ever seen, whereas others considered a shlock. Where do I fall in? Read on and find out.

The film – set in the fictional city of Lillian, Ohio – begins rather solemnly, as an employee changes the number of days between accidents is reduced from 784 to 1. We find out that the days were reduced due to one of the steel worker’s dying due to an accident. We then see her son Joseph Lamb (Joel Courtney) sitting on a swing holding her locket and his dad Deputy Sheriff Jackson (Kyle Chandler) forced from the wake due to a disturbance thanks to Louis Dainard (Ron Eldard). Four months later, Joe is hanging out with his friends Charles (Riley Griffiths), Preston (Zach Mills), Martin (Gabriel Basso), and Cary (Ryan Lee) as they work on a movie to submit to a statewide film festival. Charles asks an upperclassmen named Alice (Elle Fanning) to drive them to a train station so they can film a pivotal scene. Alice reluctantly agrees, but is eventually coaxed into appearing in the film. During a quick rehearsal, Charles notices a train coming down the tracks and realizes that he can use the train as a backdrop, and the children scramble to set up for filming. During the filming, Joe sees a truck go for the train and barrels into it, creating a spectacular head-on collision. Shortly thereafter, the town is racked with strange disturbances; dogs fleeing, engines being mysteriously stolen, and people coming up missing. The onus is placed on the Deputy Sheriff to find out what’s going on, whereas the young children are looking to finish their film…until they realize that there’s more to what’s going on than is initially told to them by Air Force Colonel Nelec (Noah Emmerich).

So, what worked for this movie? In a word, everything. The production value was excellent, the acting was phenomenal, the story was beautiful, and the score was mesmerizing. In a word, the film was a very beautiful sight to behold. I was definitely impressed with the children, as they did a fantastic job taking the direction that they were given, and I was especially impressed with Elle Fanning. Elle, the younger sister of Dakota Fanning, owns every scene she’s in, and she’s proving to be the next great Fanning. Joel Courtney is also great in what is his very first movie role. He not only held his own with Kyle Chandler, but he exceeded him at times.

What didn’t work for this movie? Well, to be honest, the only thing I didn’t really like was the whole homage. This movie was a love sonnet to Executive Producer Steven Spielberg from director J. J. Abrams, and it showed from the opening reel. The movie almost has none of the Abrams originality that was present in films like Mission: Impossible III and Star Trek. The only thing that was trademark J. J. was the use of lens flares. Now, to the defense of said flares, I didn’t have a problem with it in Star Trek, and I don’t have a problem with it here. I do wish that he would’ve done a bit more of what makes him a great director.

As I mentioned above, the film was directed by J. J. Abrams, and he directs with sweeping visuals and a spectacular eye for talent. Abrams also wrote the film, and he did a good job with that as well. The score was done by long time collaborator Michael Giacchino, and it was beautifully done, although even the score felt less like Giacchino and more like John Williams. That’s not a bad thing, mind you, but it’s not like Giacchino isn’t talented, because he is. It’s just that the score continues with the trend of how much of an homage the movie really is to Spielberg epics like Close Encounters of the Third Kind, E.T., and The Goonies – to name a few.

I did love this movie. It has the feel of an instant classic, thanks in no small part to the cast and crew. The only gripe I had with it was the fact that it is so blatant of a love letter to Spielberg. That being said, I’d be remiss if I didn’t consider this movie to be 4.5 times More Epic than Love Jones. It is a very beautiful looking and visually stunning film. It’s definitely something that I highly recommend seeing in theaters.

In this case, the nostalgia factor is a good thing.

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2 Comm
18th Jun2011

Half-Lit Lantern

by Mr. Joseph

First of all, Happy Father’s Day weekend. Hopefully, all of you have a great day with your loved ones. Me? I’m spending my weekend at the movies. Today’s movie is the Warner Bros. film Green Lantern. The movie, rated PG-13, stars Ryan Reynolds, Blake Lively, Mark Strong, Peter Skarsgaard, Tim Robbins, Angela Bassett, and the voices of Geoffrey Rush and Michael Clarke Duncan. The film hopes to be dually ambitious, where it hopes to be the beginning of a trilogy in and of itself, as well as a possible lynchpin for a movie featuring the Justice League – DC’s answer to Marvel’s superhero group The Avengers. Does GL soar or does it crash and burn? Only time will tell.

The movie begins with a telling of the creation of the Green Lantern Corps, up to and including their home planet of Oa and their mortal enemy, Parallax. The Guardians of Oa decide to send their mightiest warrior to face him. That warrior, Abin Sur (Temuera Morrison) is able to imprison it and send it to Ryut. Unfortunately, Parallax escapes and mortally wounds Abin Sur. Near death, he seeks out his successor. That successor is Hal Jordan (Ryan Reynolds), a cocky, impetuous test pilot for Ferris Industries. He is participating in a test flight with Carol Ferris (Blake Lively) to test out two new pilotless fighter jets. After what appears to be a failure, Hal and everyone else involved is fired. Meanwhile, Abin Sur’s spaceship crashes in Coast City and the ring seeks out and finds Hal. After speaking the oath, Hal is transported to Oa, where he begins his training with Sinestro (Mark Strong), Tomar Re (Geoffrey Rush) and Kilowog (Michael Clarke Duncan), and discovers that Parallax has infected a human named Hector Hammond (Peter Sarsgaard). Thus, the race is on to save Earth – as well as the universe.

Ryan Reynolds as Green LanternSo, what worked? The cast was pretty good. Ryan Reynolds was a passable Hal Jordan, and Blake Lively does what she does best: look good. Peter Sarsgaard was kind of boring, but it was only because they didn’t use him as much as they should have. The space scenes were spectacular, and the CGI used to create Oa was very nice. I thought I was going to have a problem with the costume, because I’m used to what I saw on Justice League and Justice League Unlimited. Those fears were alleviated after watching it on screen, as well as the explanation given for it (it’s pure energy). The James Newton Howard score was pretty rocking as well. As a disciple of Hans Zimmer, it sounded good.

What didn’t work? The main thing for me was the scenes on Earth. The biggest problem I had with the film itself was the fact that it really was two movies at once. If the filmmakers would have focused on one thing or the other, it would’ve been a much better film. The Earth scenes had a TV show-type feel to it, and that can actually be attributed to the script. Greg Berlanti and Marc Guggenheim were mostly known for their TV shows (the underrated Eli Stone and the overrated No Ordinary Family), and the Coast City scenes – as well as some of the dialogue itself – betrayed that. As I mentioned before, I didn’t like how they misused Peter Sarsgaard, so I won’t go into that again. But, I WILL go into how they misused Angela Bassett. They didn’t really give her a lot to do, and that’s not a good thing for someone as gifted a performer as she is.

Hal Jordan and Carol FerrisThe film was directed by Martin Campbell, and he is best known for not only making Zorro cool – twice, but for also reinventing James Bond – twice. Here, he does a passable job, but he’s betrayed by the script he was given. He didn’t do too bad, though. He was even able to coax a decent performance from Ryan Reynolds, and he isn’t really known as a bastion of acting integrity. There were some flaws, but it was only because he was working with the script he was given.

To be perfectly honest, I can’t say I loved this movie, but I can say I didn’t hate it, either. I’m not mad I saw it in theaters, but I know it could have been so much more. It had all the makings of a great film, but it faltered at times, and that brings how I felt about it down a few pegs. I’m sure it looked good in 3D, but I can’t tell you for sure, because I’m opposed to 3D based on fundamental reasons. So, with that in mind, I have to say that I consider this movie to be 2.5 times More Epic than Love Jones. If you want to see it in theaters, you won’t be terribly disappointed.

Just don’t forget the oath.

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2 Comm
16th Jun2011

Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Part 2–Trailer 2

by Mr. Joseph

Deathly_hallows_part_II

I know I posted the first trailer here, but I feel obligated to post the second one here as well.

 

Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Part 2–Trailer 2

 

Y’all just don’t understand how much I’m looking forward to this movie.  Granted, I haven’t been there since the beginning, but the enthusiasm is still there writ large.  It looks as if it’s gonna be a fitting end to a fantastic franchise, and if what the rumor mills are spreading hold true, there may be a new addition to the universe we know and love.

See you then!

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04th Jun2011

Middle of the Class

by Mr. Joseph

As another weekend bursts into full swing, another new movie is out for review. Today’s movie is the 20th Century Fox movie X-Men: First Class. The Movie, rated PG-13, features an ensemble cast which includes James McAvoy, Michael Fassbender, Kevin Bacon, Rose Byrne, Jennifer Lawrence, and January Jones. This has been a fairly maligned film, because no one has been too sure what to make of it. You have a group of people who love it and claim that it’s the best movie ever. There are others that think it’s a horrible movie and deserves to be wiped from memory. Which one do I fall under? Let’s find out.

The movie begins in 1944 Poland with a young Erik Lensherr being separated from his parents and Nazi scientist Sebastian Shaw (Kevin Bacon) discovering that little Erik has a big secret…a secret that’s exacerbated when Dr. Shaw killed his mother in front of him. Concurrently, a young Charles Xavier discovers a young girl named Raven (who would later become Mystique) scrounging around for food in his home. Thrilled to meet someone different like him, he then invites her to live with her family. Later, an adult Erik (Michael Fassbender) has set forth a plan to avenge his mother’s death by killing all of the former Nazis that were involved in his capture and the experiments foisted upon him. Meanwhile, Charles (James McAvoy) and Raven (Jennifer Lawrence) are in Oxford where Charles is studying for his PhD. Around the same time, CIA Agent Moira McTaggert (Rose Byrne) is looking to find a corrupt officer involved in the Hellfire Club, with Sebastian Shaw as its leader and the enigmatic Emma Frost (January Jones) as his second in command. Charles and Erik reluctantly decide to join forces with the CIA and work towards stopping Shaw and the Hellfire Club, as well as trying to help stop the onset of World War III.

So…what worked about this movie? First of all, the cast was pretty much fantastic. McAvoy and Fassbender in particular really convinced me they were Charles and Erik, and their chemistry was excellent. The cinematography was spectacular and the CGI was phenomenal. The flying scenes in particular were a sight to behold. The story flowed smoothly, and they integrated historical images and video in seamlessly with the story they were telling onscreen.

What didn’t work? Well, one of the things that didn’t work was January Jones. Sure, I said the cast was fantastic, but the lone exception to that is January Jones. She’s a great looking woman, but she’s not necessarily a good actress. I’m sure she is okay in Mad Men, but she wasn’t too good in this. The other thing that really didn’t work was something that affects movies of this caliber as a whole. That problem being that it’s not an easy thing to create a prequel for something that’s already been established. In fact, I think the smarter thing would have been to consider this movie a reboot.

The movie was directed by Matthew Vaughan, and he is looked at as a bit of a geek favorite seeing what he did with Kick-Ass. There is a bit of a framing issue from time to time due to his love for wide shots, but it’s a beautiful looking movie. The score was done by Henry Jackman, and it sounds good for the era it’s based in. It’s powerful enough when it needs to be, and subtle when the scene calls for it. On a whole, the cinematography was fluid and the story was decent.

Despite the positive flow, I don’t really know how to feel about this movie. Like I mentioned above, it’s getting a myriad of reviews. It was great to some, horrible to others, and still those who are in between. As for me, I tend to fall right in the middle of that spectrum. Some parts of it worked for me, and others didn’t. On the whole, I’ll consider this a decent matinée, and I can competently recommend watching this in the theaters at least once. It may not get highest marks, but it’s certainly not a remedial effort.

After all, it could certainly be worse.

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29th May2011

My Worst of the Worst

by Mr. Joseph

When it comes to movies, I can freely admit that I’ve seen a lot of them.  Some of them were good, some were not.  That being said, there have been some that I saw that escaped all logic and recognition.  This is the list of the worst – according to me.  I know there are some that people will disagree on, but that’s okay; we’re all entitled to our opinions.  So, without any further pretense, here is my list…in no specific order.

Titanic

titanic_ver2_xlgBefore 1997, the only thing people thought about when you mentioned the word “Titanic” was the fact that it hit an iceberg and sank.  After 1997, the thinking grace of Titanic shifted from that to the curmudgeonly annoying duo of Leonardo DiCaprio and James Cameron.  Now, don’t get me wrong: Leo DiCaprio is a fine actor, and James Cameron is a competent director and cinematographer.  However, what Cameron is NOT is a gifted screenplay writer.  He decides to turn what was the most disastrous accident of its time into a love story between DiCaprio and Kate Winslett.  The this movie had a few nice touches, though.  The first was that the cinematography and effects were spectacular.  The second was that the ship looked fantastic when it began its descent into the icy dregs.  Finally, and most importantly, it was that it gave us the benefit of seeing Kate Winslett naked.

 

Avatar

Oh, look…it’s James Cameron again.  Not only is he back, no one told him that his writing sucked from his last effort.  Not only that, the male lead was horrendous.  I don’t care what anybody says, Sam Worthington couldn’t act his way out of a walk-in closet, much less a script that’s less than competent.  The effects were spectacular, the score was magnificent, and the cinematography was beautiful.  The rest of it was just horrendous, and I can’t get over the fact that the male lead was as competent as a block of wood.  Oh, back to the script…it wasn’t so much that the script was bad, it was more of a mad-libs version of a script.  They took the stories from The Last Samurai, Dances With Wolves, and Pocahontas and changed it to an alien landscape.  That’s not original; that’s cheap.  Also, note to Hollywood: these stories of the white man coming to save the noble savages aren’t inspirational; they’re insulting.  Cut that shit out.

 

Major League: Back to the Minors

major_league_back_to_the_minors_xlgThe first movie was a classic, and the second movie had some redeeming value to it.  How do they follow this up?  With a turd dongle of a movie.  This is one of those that had no redeeming points to it.  At all.  It didn’t kill the careers of Scott Bakula and Dennis Haysbert, but it pretty much killed those of everyone else.  There is absolutely nothing positive I can say about that movie; all points of the movie stunk.  Acting, writing, directing, score, cinematography, al was an epic fail.  No, wait.  When it comes to the baseball parlance, I have to dub this a Natinals Fail in honor of the Washington Nationals and their misspelled uniforms.  The best part of this movie was the end, as I stormed out of the theater in disgust.

 

 

The Big Hit

big_hitThis movie was horrible.  Just plain old horrible.  This was a fail from the word go.  The fact that Avery Brooks was involved in this movie just makes me sick.  It was a clusterfuck in every way, from a dorky Mark Wahlberg to a spectacularly pathetic Lou Diamond Phillips jumping around like he was the token black man in a bad action movie.  The fact that this movie was even released in theaters is a testament to the horrifically bad decision making in Hollywood.  And, what the hell was up with Bokeem Woodbine?  It’s bad enough that he plays a clichéd angry black man in every movie he’s in, he does so for non-laughs in this one…up to and including being a regular in an adult video section.  Just the thought of that makes me sick to my stomach.

 

 

Why Did I Get Married Too?

why_did_i_get_married_tooWhat. The. Fuck?  I know I’ve said that some of these movies have no redeeming values, but this one takes the cake for a disaster film waiting to happen.  The fact that there are some people out there who try to defend this dingleberry of a movie is disgraceful.  There are those that say “You don’t get it.”  Well, you know what?  I’ve seen enough movies to know when it’s a steaming pile of shit.  This one takes the cake in the race to the most unbelievable premise ever.  The first one was okay; not great, but okay, but this one…you know what?  Just read my review here.

 

 

 

 

Now, some of these are beautiful in certain aspects (music, cinematography, effects), but lacking in others (story, entertainment value, acting).  If you recall, I did write a blog notating what I considered to be a good movie (if you missed it, you can find it here), but some good parts aren’t enough to offer any redeeming value at all.  Others are…well, let’s face it: others are pure shit.

Now, I’m smart enough to realize that there are going to be people who disagree with my assessment, and I expect that.  So, feel free to hit up the comments section and let me know if you think I’m an asshole for thinking this way, or if you agree with me.  I can take it either way it goes.

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28th May2011

Pretty Easy

by Mr. Joseph

easy_a_xlgToday was a pretty dull day here, and I decided I needed something to occupy my time with.  Thankfully, Netflix came to the rescue by providing me with a pretty easy outlet.  The movie I decided to watch today was the Screen Gems picture Easy A.  The movie,  rated PG-13, stars Emma Stone, Amanda Bynes, Penn Badgley, Thomas Haden church, Patricia Clarkson, Lisa Kudrow, and Stanley Tucci.  The movie is a VERY loose retelling of The Scarlet Letter, and it has all the makings of what could be a teen classic akin to some of the classics of the 80s, but it could also be a disaster like the infamous films of the 90s.  Which does it hit?  Only one way to find out.

Olive Penderghast (Emma Stone) is a bit of an average teenager.  She spends most of her days hanging out with her friend Rhiannon (Alyson Michalka), enjoying the lessons from her favorite teacher Mr. Griffith (Thomas Haden Church), and being relatively ignored by the student body.  One day, Rhiannon asks her to go camping trip, but instead of saying no, she says she has a date with a college friend of her older brothers.  The following Monday, she lied and told Rhiannon that they slept together instead of spending her weekend in her bedroom.  This story is heard by the school Christian zealot, Marianne Bryant (Amanda Bynes), and she begins to spread the story throughout the school.  Eventually, word gets to Brandon (Dan Byrd), a closeted homosexual.  Brandon pleads with Olive to pretend to sleep with him to help with his reputation.  She reluctantly agrees, and they fake the deed at a house party.  Eventually, word gets around that she’s the go-to girl for boosting their reputations, and Olive is stuck trying to keep up the act.

911160 - EASY ASo, what worked in this movie…well, for starters, Emma Stone has a great comedic wit to her.  I also liked the interaction she had with Patricia Clarkson and Stanley Tucci who play her parents.  Thomas Haden Church is a bit underused in this film, but it’s not his place to be the scene stealer, and his character works.  Penn Badgley has a rather miniscule role, and his stuff with Emma Stone is endearing, but he fills the role of the resident cute guy, so he’s not really expected to do much.  Another rather funny character was her adopted black brother Chip, who was played by Bryce Clyde Jenkins.  He didn’t have a whole lot of scenes in the movie, but the scenes he had were great.  In fact, one of his best scenes came with Stanley Tucci.

What didn’t work?  Well, I really didn’t like Amanda Bynes’ character.  She is an incredible zealot, and horrifically annoying.  I wanted to punch a kitten every time she was on the screen, and I wanted to step on that same kitten whenever she opened her mouth.  That being said, a lot of Christian zealots act pretty similar to the way Bynes did, so I guess it fits.  Also, I wasn’t too fond of the necessity to throw a song and dance in near the end of the movie.  In fact, it was quite annoying.  And, finally…can’t Malcolm McDowell sit his ass down somewhere?  He always seems to find himself in everything imaginable.  It’s almost as if he’s standing on a street corner with a sign saying “Will Act For Food.”  I understand everyone needs a hobby, but good grief!

up-Easy_AThe movie was directed by Will Gluck, and I have to be honest here…I have no earthly idea who he is.  Looking at some of his stuff on his Wikipedia page, I still have no earthly idea who he is.  From the looks of things, he’s a comedic director and writer, so I guess he’s okay.  The score was completely infinitesimal, and it doesn’t even bear mentioning here.

This was a fairly entertaining movie.  It had its laugh out loud moments, and I kind of sympathized with Olive’s plight; she never got any real attention early on, but the attention she ended up getting was the kind she didn’t want.  In the grand scheme of things, it had some pretty healthy throwbacks to movies of old (Sixteen Candles, The Breakfast Club, Ferris Bueller’s Day Off, Can’t Buy Me Love, and Say Anything), as well as a pretty interesting setup (The Scarlet Letter – 1934) and an even better payoff (The Scarlet Letter – 1995).  In the end, this was a very good movie that was about a stone’s throw away from being a great movie.  So, I feel comfortable enough to rate this film four times More Epic Than Love Jones.  I’m not mad that I watched it, and I wouldn’t have a problem watching it again.

It was certainly worth the wait.

Easy-A-Chilling-With-the-Family-15-9-10-kc1

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21st May2011

Steady Tide

by Mr. Joseph

pirates_of_the_caribbean_on_stranger_tides_ver9_xlgAs the Summer Blockbuster season continues in full swing, so do the movies themselves.  Today’s movie hearkens a return to the swashbuckling pirate Captain Jack Sparrow in Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides.  The Walt Disney Pictures film – the fourth in the successful series based off the amusement park ride – stars Johnny Depp, Pénelope Cruz, Ian McShane, and Geoffrey Rush.  This movie has been billed as a return to what made the first film such an instant classic: a stand-alone story and the witty banter that only Johnny Depp can provide.  Does it live up to its lofty expectations, or does it falter much like At World’s End did?  Only one way to find out for sure.

The movie in Spain, where a couple of Spaniards find a body tangled up in their line.  Thinking he is dead, they go to try to retrieve his effects, only to find out that the man is still alive.  They take him to the King of Spain who finds out that the old man knew of Ponce de Léon, and that he was one of those looking for the Fountain of Youth.  The king orders an expedition to take effect immediately, and this gets to King George (Richard Griffiths).  King George issues Captain Hector Barbossa (Geoffrey Rush), now a privateer for the British Navy, to go search for it.  Meanwhile, Captain Jack Sparrow (Johnny Depp) is on dual duty: he’s trying to save his first mate Joshamee Gibbs (Kevin McNally) from the gallows as well as trying to find out who’s impersonating him to set sail for the Fountain of Youth.  Along the way, he runs into Angelica (Pénelope Cruz) and the fearsome Blackbeard (Ian McShane), and the chase is on, with the Fountain of Youth being the ultimate goal.

At this point, I would normally go into detail about the principal characters and the actors portraying them.  Not this time, though; this time, I’m going to talk about what worked and what didn’t.  So…what worked?

PIRATES OF THE CARIBBEAN: ON STRANGER TIDESWhat worked for this movie was the witty banter.  The movie moved along briskly when there is a healthy amount of conversation between Jack Sparrow and Angelica, or Jack Sparrow and Barbossa, or Jack Sparrow and Blackbeard.  The dialogue was crisp and the flow was smooth.  The score also worked…somewhat.  Hans Zimmer returned to deliver a pretty good score, and the themes for Blackbeard and Barbossa work well when they’re interwoven with the right scenes.

What didn’t work?  Well, like I mentioned above, the movie moves briskly when the principals are involved with each other.  When they’re not – which really does happen a bit – it’s sluggish.  There are points in the movie that it’s slow regardless of what the main cast does, but it picks up when they get to White Calf Bay. Until that point, it meanders a bit much.  There is also a subplot featuring a Christian missionary and a mermaid that felt completely out of place and I feel the movie would’ve been a whole lot faster without them.

Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides (2011)<br /> JOHNNY DEPP and PENELOPE CRUZRob Marshall replaced Gore Verbinski as the director, and he did a fairly decent job with what he was presented.  There have been a lot of complaints about the action scenes not being filmed well, and that is pretty true up until the mermaids themselves arrive.  When you see them onscreen, they are mystifying…until they reveal their true colors, at which point you’re stunned with what you see.  Not only that, another one of their scenes is particularly frightening, and let me just say that those ain’t seagulls you’re hearing.  Like I mentioned, Hans Zimmer did the score, and it did work for some parts.  At times, the score seemed a bit muted, and that’s not what you expect from a Zimmer scored film.

I enjoyed this movie, but it was painfully obvious that something was missing.  There were points that I could have done without, and points I would’ve loved to see more of, but the whole is a sum of its parts.  What those parts are is subject to your own interpretation, but it wasn’t that bad.  With that in mind, I feel confident in rating this movie three times More Epic than Love Jones, and it’s a competent matinée flick.  Whether you choose to see it in 2D (like me) or 3D is up to you, but it’s a pretty good time overall.

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07th May2011

Mjolnir Beckons

by Mr. Joseph

ThorThis is one of my favorite times of the year.  Temperatures get higher, people get more relaxed, and the summer blockbuster season begins.  People may argue that it began last week with Fast Five, but not for me; for me, it began this weekend.  Today’s movie is the Marvel Studios presentation Thor.  This movie – released by Paramount Pictures – stars Chris Hemsworth, Natalie Portman, Tom Hiddleston, Anthony Hopkins, and Stellan Skarsgård.  This movie is another tent pole in the Marvel universe leading up to next year’s film The Avengers, and this is another fine entry into a universe that began with Iron Man and goes forth from there.

The movie begins in New Mexico, where astrophysicist Jane Foster (Natalie Portman), grad student Darcy Lewis (Kat Dennings), and Jane’s mentor Erik Selvig (Stellan Skarsgård) are driving in the deserts of New Mexico looking for a link to some strange goings on that Jane had been noticing as of late.  Suddenly, a strange light falls from the sky and a man falls out – right in front of her car.  The movie then flashes to 965 A.D.  Odin (Anthony Hopkins), king of Asgard, fights in a war against the Frost Giants and their leader Laufey (Colm Feore) to keep them from taking over the Nine Realms of Yggdrasil.  Through a series of events Thor disappoints Odin with his actions, and is banished to Earth.  From here, the movie really begins, with Thor having to realize how to be humble in order to ascend to his rightful place.

ThorChris Hemsworth is very capable as the Norse God Thor.  He was able to carry the look and the arrogance that was needed in the beginning, and it was fun to watch him grow as the movie went on.  I hadn’t seen much of Hemsworth since his ten minute opening scene in Star Trek as George Kirk, but he really made his mark in this film.

I’ve mentioned before how I feel about Natalie Portman (for proof, see Black Swan), and I love every chance I get to see her on screen.  She plays Jane Foster very convincing, although I do have a slight issue with how the movie turns a brilliant astrophysicist into a lovesick puppy with the flick of a wrist.  That being said, she did well, and she did her trademark crying, too.

The one I really loved seeing was Tom Hiddleston.  I’m incredibly unfamiliar with his body of work, but I refuse to sit idly by and not try to find more of his films.  Simply put, he was spectacular as Loki.  Everyone knows Loki as a mischievous God, almost to the point of ducking around corners and cackling maniacally.  Not this Loki.  Hiddleston plays him as a sympathetic villain, and you almost see where he’s coming from when he does what he does.  On top of that, he actually makes you feel sorry for him once you find out his motivation for everything.

For someone like Odin, you need someone who has a regal presence and can carry the gravitas a role like that would require.  However, since Sean Connery is good and retired, the filmmakers decided to get Anthony Hopkins instead.  Of course I’m kidding, but this is an actually controlled and muted performance by Hopkins.  It’s almost as if he was trying his best not to revert to the slithering character he has played as of late, and he deserves a big thank you for that.

SifStellan Skarsgård plays the part of Erik Selvig, and he does what his character is meant to do: play a sort of father figure to Natalie Portman and Kat Dennings’ characters.  He has some pretty good scenes there near the end, but one of my favorite scenes was one that he shared with Thor in a bar.  Let’s put it like this: he drank, he laughed, and he honored his ancestors well.  I couldn’t imagine the movie without him.

This movie is directed by Kenneth Branagh, and let me just go on record as saying I love him as a director.  He comes from the world of Shakespeare, but he knows how to get the best out of his actors.  This was his first big blockbuster film, but you wouldn’t know it from his directing ability.  The score was done by Patrick Doyle, and – whereas it wasn’t totally forgettable – it was virtually boring.  The last thing I heard him score was Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire, but that score was unremarkable as well.  What wasn’t unremarkable was the CGI; the work they did in making Asgard look like a real place was simply phenomenal.  The Bifröst Bridge was really breathtaking, and the cinematography was outstanding.

This is how you kick off the summer blockbuster season.  There have been many good movies that served as starting points for the movies to come, and this is just another example of how to do it right.  There were some scenes that seemed a bit off at first, but they eventually found their way in successfully.  The score may not have been that great, but I’d be really picky if I didn’t consider this movie five times More Epic Than Love Jones.  Run – don’t walk – to see this as soon as possible, and prepare yourself for a good time.

Your ancestors would be proud.

The Coronation of Thor

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30th Apr2011

Expecto Patronum!

by Mr. Joseph

Harry_Potter_logo

Everyone the world over should’ve realized what this was about when they saw the title, but if they didn’t, they do now.  Yes, this is about the Harry Potter film franchise.  The films have all been released by Warner Bros. Pictures, and they star Daniel Radcliffe, Emma Watson, Rupert Grint, Richard Harris, Michael Gambon, Alan Rickman, and Ralph Fiennes.  The movies have been rated from PG to PG-13 for their various uses of magical violence and situations that may be deemed too tense for children.  The movies tell the story of Harry Potter (Daniel Radcliffe) a young wizard who has been dubbed by everyone in the magic community as the Chosen One.  While studying at Howgarts, he meets and befriends Hermione Granger (Emma Watson) and Ron Weasley (Rupert Grint) and they go on various adventures to not only learn more about themselves, but to stop an evil wizard known as Lord Voldermort (Ralph Fiennes).  For those who are bigger fans than me, yes; I’m aware that I just did a very brief synopsis of all seven books and (to date) seven movies.  Take a deep breath; you’ll be okay.

How did I get engulfed in Harry Potter?  I’ll tell you.  On December 4th, ABC Family had a marathon of the first five films.  How many did I watch?  None.  I didn’t watch any of them, but that was because I was unaware of the marathon until I saw mention of it on Twitter.  I found out that it would be back on the next day, so I set it in my mind that I was going to watch them then.  I had been intrigued by the trailer for Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince, but I didn’t want to start in cold; rather, I wanted to start from the beginning and work my way up.  This marathon gave me that option.  I started in late (The Sorcerer’s Stone was at least an hour and a half in at the time), so I was kind of unaware what was going on.  Thankfully, it was fairly easy to follow.  After I watched that one, I went on to the second one…then the third…and before I knew it, I was crawling into the bed at 11:30 after watching all of them.  After that, I was hooked.

Like I mentioned above, there have been seven movies done so far, and I’ll discuss seven of them here.  Why not all eight?  Because The Deathly Hallows, Part 2 hasn’t been released yet.  Be patient.

harry_potter_and_the_sorcerers_stone_ver5_xlgHarry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone

First things first, I know the poster says “Philosopher’s Stone;” I like that poster better.  Oh, sure; I could’ve gone with the one that had the boats going into Hogwarts, but I decided to use this one instead.  It’s just as good.  Anyway, every story has its beginning, and this is the beginning of the Harry Potter franchise.  We meet the principal characters as they set out to find the Sorcerer’s Stone and prevent He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named from getting his hands on it and coming back to life.  As beginnings go, it’s a pretty good one, and the kids really hold their own in this movie.

 

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Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets

To be honest, this one bored me.  This movie is the weakest of the series, and it’s not the fault of the actors.  The trio held their own and the addition of Kenneth Branagh as the ridiculously named and dressed Gilderoy Lockheart was beautiful casting.  Unfortunately, the story wasn’t told well, and I wasn’t really impressed at all.  This signaled the end of Chris Columbus as the director of the series, and it even made John Williams’ great score seem mostly mundane.  It’s a shame, because the story looks like it lends itself to the screen well.  It just didn’t work out in this one.

 

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Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban

If Chamber of Secrets was the worst to me, then Prisoner of Azkaban was the best.  The trio began to grow into their own, the story was brilliant, the score was phenomenal, and the addition of Alfonso Cuarón as the director was a spectacular choice.  The movie introduced the great Gary Oldman as Sirius Black, David Thewlis as Remus Lupin, and Timothy Spall as Peter Pettigrew.  This also brought in Michael Gambon to replace Richard Harris as Dumbledore, as Harris passed away after the second one.  This is just a spectacular film in general – not just a spectacular Harry Potter film.

 

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Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire

It’s hard to follow a great movie with another great movie, so I’m not too mad that Goblet of Fire dropped the ball a bit.  That’s okay, though; it was pretty good.  Dumping Harry into a tournament originally designed for three wizards was pretty clever.  Bringing in Brendan Gleeson to play the appropriately named Mad-Eye Moody was great, and he actually made the movie.  The movie brought about the rebirth of Lord Voldermort, played with tenacity by Ralph Fiennes.  The action was great, and the effects were very well done.  Mike Newell did a very good job with this one.  The score was blasé, but you can’t win them all.

 

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Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix

One of the great things in the Harry Potter franchise is that you really get to see the actors grow and evolve.  This movie shows their growth in spades.  On top of that, you get to see a really great wand duel between the forces of good (Dumbledore’s Army and the Order of the Phoenix) and evil (Death Eaters). We also see an epic battle between Dumbledore and Voldermort.  David Yates takes the directing helm, and he deftly guides his young cast through the rigors.  This one also introduces a great villain in Dolores Umbridge; she’s just annoying enough to be sinister. Another good one in the series.

 

harry_potter_and_the_half_blood_prince_ver19Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince

The tagline for this one says it all: “Dark Secrets Revealed.”  This is definitely truth in advertising.  We find out one character isn’t as he seems, and another one has taken the wrong path.  All isn’t bad, though; romances are realized, hearts are broken, and epic battles wage on.  This one has a very sad ending, though, as we bid a fond farewell to one of the most beloved characters in in the franchise.  Of course, the reason we’re saying goodbye is due to the insidious deeds of another…or was it really insidious?  Only time will tell…

 

 

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Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Part 1

I wrote about this one already, and my feelings haven’t changed on it from that review.  If you missed it, you can check it out here.  Just to add, I love it when a movie ends unconventionally.  Although it makes sense for it to end how it did, that doesn’t make it any more enriching.

 

 

 

On July 15th (currently), the epic finale to the franchise comes to theaters, and I am really looking forward to that.  That being said, if they released it one day before, that would be the best birthday present ever.

At any rate, I’ve been watching the trailers quite a lot since it was released, and it’s only served to get me even more ready.  But, until then…

EXPELLIARMUS!

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