Before I make this confession, let me just say that I’ve been wrestling with this confession for the past few days. I didn’t really know if I wanted to admit this, because I’ve spent at least 10 to 12 years trying to prove that I’m not what I really am. However, I’ve had an epiphany over the past year or so, and I finally started embracing it a couple of months ago. I always took it in stride in private, but I never came out and admitted it in public. However, I feel that it’s time to admit who and what I really am.
I am is Joseph, and I am a geek.
People called me that all throughout high school, and I fought it tooth and nail. I didn’t literally fight it, but that’s because I’m incapable of fighting anyone. But, whenever someone called me a geek, I shouted it down as loud as I could. However, I’d go home and watch Transformers or Star Trek or Ghostbusters and be just as happy as I could be. Then, I’d turn around and deny it ad nauseam at school. I remember one argument I had with someone in particular where he kept picking at me and mentioned that he had the Ghostbusters 2 soundtrack in his car. I figured he was full of shit, but I didn’t pursue it, because he had popularity on his side, and I had…well…I had my grades. Not really a fair argument at the time, but I stuck with it. I even played football my senior year to get away from that stigma; guess what? It didn’t help.
As I got older and went out into the world, I met people who thought like me, felt like me, and even introduced me to more things geeks like me would like; stuff like Ninja Scroll, Ranma 1/2, and Tenchi Muyo!. I haven’t watched much of it lately, but I can still recite things from Ranma 1/2, and I can still remember things from Tenchi Muyo!, so it still counts for something. When I joined the Navy, I found even more people who either liked what I liked, or they tolerated it. Either way it went, I fully embraced what I enjoyed.
While I was in the Navy, I introduced my brother to some of the shows I watched. I don’t know if he still finds an interest in it now, but I remember coming home, and he’d ask me to put in the soundtrack to a Sailor Moon or Ranma 1/2 (yes, I had the music to the shows, and I can even remember some of the people who wrote the music: Kenji Kawaii, Akihisha Matsuura, and Takanori Arisawa immediately spring to mind). Fast forward to today, where if I were so inclined, I could pop in a Sailor Moon or Ranma DVD and be A-OK. In fact, I would be able to pick any of them up from episode one and be just fine.
If you thought Anime was the only thing that I enjoyed, think again. I’m a gigantic Trekker. My 33rd birthday present to myself was a movie poster from the most recent Star Trek movie. I’ve seen all eleven movies, and I can freely admit that Star Trek II was the greatest Star Trek movie ever made, and it is my favorite movie of all time. In the same breath, I can also admit that Star Trek: Nemesis was one of the worst movies I’ve ever seen, and it has a strong place at the bottom of the Star Trek pantheon. I broke my own rule by watching Star Trek on opening day, and I don’t regret that one damn bit. When I first saw this screen in person, I almost lost my damn mind:
But, that’s not the end of it; oh, no! I also admit to being a Star Wars fan, and my favorite Star Wars movie (and my #2 all-time) is Star Wars Episode V: The Empire Strikes Back. Sure, there are some effects that don’t age well, but I don’t care; it’s an awesome movie, and it will be bought on Blu-ray the second George Lucas deems it ready for release.
I could go on and on, mentioning the fact that I also saw Iron Man and Iron Man 2 on opening day and immediately bought both of them upon their home release, but I think I’ve made my point. The fact of the matter is, I’m an admitted geek, and I’m proud of that fact. Never again will I duck in the shadows and hide who and what I am. Never again will I wonder what other people think of my habits or likes. Never again will I debate toning down what I enjoy for the sake of other people.
I am who I am, and I have NO regrets.