Married Counseling Too

I swore up and down I wouldn’t do this.  I said that I refused to suffer through a bad  movie.  I told myself that I wasn’t a glutton for punishment (“What’s a glutton?” Thank you, Ranma Saotome).  I figured that after paying good money to suffer through Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen, I would never waste my money on a bad movie again. 

Then, Tyler Perry came along with Why Did I Get Married Too? and screwed everything up.

This movie features the same cast as the last one, and everyone is seemingly happy.  However, as the movie progresses, the happiness turns into a farce.  Marriages are strained, breaking points are reached and tragedies are responded to with cameos at the very end.  It could’ve been a good movie; the premise wasn’t that bad and it looked promising on paper.  The problem lies in the fact that it was incredibly over-acted.

When I go to watch a movie, I’m looking at four different standpoints: acting, writing, directing and music (score). Four of those are a roaring success, three of these is enough to keep me intrigued, two of them makes something okay but backsliding, one of these is miserable, and when you have none of them…you have something that’s completely unwatchable.  This movie falls in the latter category.  It is unwatchable in every sense of the imagination, and the sheer thought of it is painful.

Tyler Perry and Sharon Leal reprise their roles as the happy couple Terry and Dianne Brock, but their relationship turns to mush midway through after a slip of the tongue.  I’ve always admired Sharon Leal; she’s very pretty and a very good actress.  Tyler Perry is…well, Tyler Perry.  He is actually pretty grounded in this movie, although there are some scenes where his shtick seems forced.  All in all, I preferred him better in Star Trek, but that’s just me.  In comparison to the first one, which I own, I liked their interactions better in the first one.

Michael Jai White and Tasha Smith are back as Marcus and Angela Williams, and they didn’t skip a beat.  Not a damn one.  They were loud, overly ghetto and completely painful – Tasha Smith in particular.  She was so loud, I got a headache every time she opened her mouth.  Of course, once she started up, she wouldn’t stop.  In fact, she got louder and more ghetto as the movie went on.  It was to die from, and I didn’t miss them on the screen at all.  In comparison to the first one…well, I hated them there, too.

I have to lump these three together, because they play a rather integral role in the movie itself.  Lamman Rucker and Jill Scott return as newlywed couple Troy and Sheila Jackson, whereas Richard T. Jones returns as Sheila’s ex-husband Mike.  This couple is struggling after a move from Colorado (the setting of the first movie) to Atlanta so she could be closer to her family.  He’s struggling to find work, and the last person they need to be poking around in their life is Mike.  Jill Scott does her usual acting/over-acting, and Lamman Rucker is seriously trying here.  The best person in this film is Richard T. Jones.  He was an asshole in the first film, but a reveal is made that makes him a sympathetic character.  Out of everyone in this movie, he is the only one who’s grounded in some sort of reality.

Last but not least, there is Malik Yoba and Janet Jackson as Gavin and Patricia Agnew.  I have to give Janet Jackson credit; she was working on this movie when her brother died.  So, she gets a little bit of leeway, but not much.  They were the worst couple, because it was apparent to everyone but themselves that they were falling apart.  When they had their big reveal, it was a bit stunning, but it wasn’t until they got back home when the proverbial shit hit the fan.  If I had to compare, they were a whole lot worse off than they were in the first movie.

Let me say that as a black man, I’m proud of Tyler Perry for sticking to his gumption.  Now that this is out of the way, maybe he should let someone else direct his non-Medea movies.  His directing style has gotten tired.  He really needs to give it a rest and let someone else give it a shot.  I didn’t remember any of the musical themes throughout, so I can’t comment on that.  I can admit that this is not a good thing.

In this economy, money is tight and I don’t want to waste good money on dreck.  This was dreck, and I was angry throughout the whole film.  In fact, I’ve never walked out of a movie angrier than I did with this one.  I’ve seen some bad movies in my day, but this one was just so painful.  I tweeted the following comments shortly after I got out of the film (strong language abides):

Fuck; I need a drink. about 3 hours ago via Twitter for BlackBerry®

Seriously, fuck this shitty-ass, over-acted movie. All the 100 proof vodka in the world can’t erase that shit from memory. about 2 hours ago via Twitter for BlackBerry®

On IMDB, I gave this a 2.  Here, I’m giving it an unprecedented zero dragon heads out of five.  If I never watch this again, it’ll be too soon.  Just completely horrid on every level of the imagination, and it was enough to make me want to drop-kick Tyler Perry in the throat.

Don’t get me started on Dwayne Johnson, either…