As I’ve mentioned before (albeit not recently), I am the father of a two year old girl. She’s putting us through the ringer with her tantrums, but it mellows out after a while. Well, last night while my wife was changing my daughter’s diaper for bed, she started singing. When our daughter was younger, my wife used to make up a lullaby to the tune of the go to sleep song. I don’t know the name of that song; don’t judge me! Anyway, my daughter decided she wanted to sing that song while she was getting changed. When it dawned on me what she was singing, that light bulb of recognition was beaming bright, as was the joy in my heart.

Just that one moment was enough for me to forget how much time I’ve spent on the road for work thus far, and how much more time I have ahead of me. But, as long as I keep moments like that at the forefront, then I think I’ll be okay.

In the opinion piece (which you can find in prose here), he laments going to a Super Bowl party and having to pretend he knows what he’s talking about. He waxes poetic about how much time watching an entire season of Ravens games would take, not to mention how time consuming watching football itself is. It’s a bit mind-boggling, but not for the reasons you may think.

I find it mind-boggling because…well…why do something you have no interest in? If you don’t watch football, don’t go to a Super Bowl party because you think you’re obligated to do so. That’s like me watching the newest Lifetime movie because Erica Durance is in it. I’m sorry; I don’t care how fine I think Erica Durance is, I ain’t watchin’ her in a Lifetime movie. Allison Mack? Maybe. Erica Durance? No.

Look, the bottom line is this: don’t complain about “having” to go to a Super Bowl party, because you don’t HAVE to do anything but live until you die from it. Just don’t take that enjoyment away from those of us who do like football. The side-eyes you would receive from that would be enough to obliterate both the Louisiana Superdome and whatever structure was built to replace it.

Now, as far as my rooting interest goes…as I’ve mentioned before, I’m a Washington Redskins fan. Have been for 25 years, and don’t plan on dropping that support anytime soon. That being said, Washington’s season ended when Rookie of the Year Robert Griffin III tore both his ACL and LCL on the crappy turf at FedEx Field (thanks, Dan Snyder…bloody moron). So, since Washington’s long gone, I’ve decided to throw my support behind the San Francisco 49ers.

Why?

Well, part of it is because I like Jim Harbaugh. Sure, he’s borderline psychotic, but he’s an emotional coach, and he loves his players. Another part of it is that the Ray Lewis lovefest is about to make me throw up. But, it’s mostly because of my best friend of 17 years. He’s a die hard 49ers fan, and I think it’d be cool to see him get the chance to celebrate a Super Bowl victory again. Although, it’d be cool to see Ray Lewis win a title so he can kneel at the 50 yard line and ascend directly into heaven.

This is completely stupid.

I’m 35 years old. I grew up in the era of Arnold Schwarzenegger, Sylvester Stallone, and Steven Segal. I was raised watching movies like Predator, The Terminator, and Cobra. Watching Magnum P.I., Knight Rider, and Miami Vice was a rite of passage for me. I spent countless hours playing games like Contra, Mega Man, and Ikari Warriors. Hell, Commando has a scene where someone gets impaled through a steam pipe, and that – plus Schwarzenegger’s one-liner at the end (“Let off some steam!”) – is one of my favorite movie lines.

Paranoid people, allow me clue you in on a little secret: it ain’t the games. It ain’t the movies. It ain’t the TV shows. Kids get exposed to these things, sure. But, kids shouldn’t be able to buy these games, they aren’t supposed to get into these movies, and they’re not supposed to be watching these shows on TV. Know why? Because we already have a rating system that covers ALL of these.

In response to games like Night Trap, Mortal Kombat, and Doom, the Entertainment Software Rating Board was created. Established in 1994, it was created to assign ratings to games based on their content, i.e., someone getting shot in the face at point blank range. These ratings have been in effect for about almost 20 years now. If you’ve looked at a video game box recently, you’ve probably seen the rating plastered on the front.

These ratings make it clear who these games are made for. I won’t let my 22 month old daughter watch me playing Mass Effect. Nor would I allow my 11 year old niece to watch me play the latest Call of Duty
game (primarily because I don’t like first-person shooters, but that’s neither here nor there). These games are rated M for a reason; they contain violent images and sexual situations. Where have we heard this saying before? Oh, yeah…the MPAA.

In 1968, the Motion Picture Association of America implemented its own rating system to replace the Hays Code (a fascinating read; find out more about the Hays Code here). In its infancy, it only had four ratings: “G” for General Audiences, “M” for Mature Audiences, “R” for Restricted (no one under 16 to be admitted without a parent or guardian, and “X” for Adults Only. Over the years, “M” gave way to “GP”, which changed to “PG”, and that’s what we had for years…until 1984. That’s when movies like Gremlins, Poltergeist, Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom, and Clash of the Titans (the original one, not the worthless one featuring the wooden Sam Worthington) were released to unsuspecting children, and it effectively scared the crap out of them. As a result, the “PG-13” rating was created to delineate the difference between a movie that might scare some younger children. In 1990, due to the influx of porn films taking the “X” rating as their own – even though most of them weren’t rated in the first place, the MPAA created the “NC-17” rating. Thus, giving us the following ratings system we use today.

In 1997, Congress, the television industry, and the FCC created TV Parental Guidelines. These guidelines were created as a tool to show parents what TV shows they may not want their young children watching. It also was created to be used in conjunction with the V-chip, which would censor shows with specific ratings. If you’ve watched TV recently, you’ve seen the ratings pop up in the upper-left hand corner of the screen. If you’ve watched a procedural, you’ve seen it every half hour.

Now, I’m sure you’re wondering why I took you on this trip down memory lane. Well, the answer is simple: we have a system in place to handle these things; we’ve had it for years. All it requires is a bit of common sense and proper implementation. The fault doesn’t rest on the entertainment industry; it rests with the consumers – specifically the parents and/or guardians who allow their charges to consume the offending media.
That doesn’t necessarily mean that all parents aren’t doing their jobs, nor does it mean that all sales reps aren’t adhering to the guidelines. However, it DOES mean that some of them aren’t.

Kids aren’t stupid; they’ll ask an adult to pick up a game for them – even though they know they aren’t supposed to play it. They’ll either sneak into a movie or ask an older cousin to get them in one. They’ll wait until their parents are summarily distracted so they can watch The Walking Dead. Instead of taking a look at everyone else, take a look at your immediate circle; you just might find the solution you’re looking for.

Of course, that’s just my opinion; I could be wrong.

As I do every season for the past ten years (more or less), I play fantasy football. I do this every year, knowing that I’m going to be inherently terrible and possibly finish near or at the bottom. I don’t do it to win anything, although it would be nice. This year I had teams in three leagues, and – as of today – my seasons have gone as follows:

AKAVSBFM Fantasy Football

The Starfleet Academy Cadets came into this season wistful and hoping to knock some heads. The regular season ended with the Cadets taking a 7-6 record into the playoffs. After an upset win over opening round opponent Alabama Ass Whuppin’, the Cadets fell to Mike’s Maritime Men 66-39. I would’ve lost that game anyway, regardless of leaving Danny Amendola on the bench. Why did I leave him on the bench? Because he missed about three straight games this season, and I figured he’d miss yet another one. Oops. At least I have the third place game to look forward to next week.

Bad Boyz 4 Life

The Gryffindor Lions were an amazing disaster. The Lions went 0-10 to start the season, and ended with a 2-11 record, thanks in no small part to Matthew Stafford’s ineptitude to get the ball to Calvin Johnson. The playoffs were even worse, where I couldn’t even win the 11th Place Game. Just abysmal all around. Maybe next year I’ll…yeah, right. At least my loss ensures the league will exist for at least one more season due to a bet I made with my best friend to see who’d have the worst season. Maybe I can go double or nothing next year; whaddya say?

BlazerTalk II

This was a new one for me. The Legion came in as newcomers to the league, and wound up finishing in second place with a 9-4-1 record, despite the lackluster efforts of Matthew Stafford and Calvin Johnson (again; damn Madden Curse!). Then, the playoffs came, and The Legion was one and done for the championship crown. I have a semifinal game in the consolation bracket, so I’m fighting for that one.

So, outside of the disaster that was Bad Boyz 4 Life, I did okay this season, with two games left to go, and the possibility for one more.

We’ll see how that works out for me.

I am Mr. Joseph, and I am a fan of the Washington Redskins.

I’ve rooted for the Burgundy and Gold for about 25 years. My start was a bit ostentatious; I started rooting for them when news of Doug Williams being the first black quarterback to start a Super Bowl became prominent. Looking back on it, it was a silly reason to start rooting for a team; that being said, I decided to roll with it. In case you’re not an amateur NFL historian like myself, Washington ended up winning Super Bowl XXII by the score of 42-10, and it brought a second Lombardi Trophy to the Nation’s Capital.

Credit: nfl.com

I continued to root for them sporadically over the next four years, as I wasn’t that big of a football fan growing up. All of that changed with Super Bowl XXVI; Washington would come out on top by a score of 37-24, and I credit that with the rebirth of the relationship with my sister. So, I’ve been with the team through the Joe Gibbs era, the sights of RFK Stadium rocking as Washington came on top, the Richie Petibon mistake (nice guy, though), and the Daniel Snyder takeover.

I rooted for the team when Gus Frerotte decided that the best way to celebrate a touchdown was to run head first into a brick wall, Stephen Davis ending up on the losing end of a Michael Westbrook punch, the not-so-fun n’ gun of Steve Suprrier, Tony “fumblitis” Banks, the greatness of Terry Allen, the Donovan McNabb debacle, and the beginning of the legend of one Robert Griffin III, aka Bobby Three Sticks.

Now, at this point, I’m sure you’re wondering why I felt the need to go through the living history of Redskins lore; don’t worry, I’m about to get there now. Bear in mind that I don’t bring this up lightly, but it has to be said.

It’s time for the nickname “Redskins” to go away.

The nickname itself is derogatory in and of itself, and it hearkens back to a simpler, more bigoted time. The team was initially known as the Boston Braves, before owner George Preston Marshall changed the name to “Redskins” in honor of then-coach Lone Star Deitze who claimed to be part Sioux. Maybe he was, maybe he wasn’t; the fact of the matter is that it’s an uncomfortable nickname from an uncomfortable time.

Now, let’s take a look at the logo.

Credit: sportslogos.net

Once upon a time, the logo was supposed to be majestic. Now, it’s just unpleasant. In fact, the team has an alternate logo that would be tons better.

Credit: sportslogos.net

Granted the spear would be awkward, but it’s a little better than the Indian head.

Now, I wouldn’t expect this to change overnight, because that would be stupid. You don’t change over 80 years of history in an instant. Instead, it could be a gradual thing. Switch logos first, then work on the team name. And, if you’re clueless as to what to call the team, I’ve got just the answer…

Credit: mghelmets.com

The Washington Sentinels.

If you’ve seen the movie The Replacements, then you know who thee Sentinels are. If you haven’t, then…watch it first. I’ll wait.

All done? Good.

In case you decided to yank my crank instead of simply going to YouTube, the Sentinels are the movie version of the Redskins, and it’s loosely based on the 1987 NFL strike. It’s a stupid fun movie, so watch the bloody thing already.

Anyway, Dan Snyder has more money than a God at this point, so it should be nothing for him to pony up some cash for the rights to the Sentinel name, logo, and color scheme.

This is just my thought process; your mileage may vary.

Before I begin, take a look around you. Please. Just humor me on this.

Are there any fires burning? Are there any flipped vehicles in your neighborhood? Did an asteroid hit your favorite team’s stadium?

No?

Good.

We’ve survived another Presidential election, and Barack Obama has secured another four year term. When the projection came in, this was the image tweeted out shortly thereafter:

“Four more years.” – @BarackObama

I can honestly say that this was an ugly campaign, and it’s one that I hope to never have to witness again. That being said, what’s done is done; it’s time to move forward now. However, before I move on myself, I have to get some stuff off of my chest.

It shouldn’t have taken Mitt Romney as long as it did for him to concede the election. It was called hours ago; why you trippin’? I understand that it’s not manly to admit defeat, but when the projections hit 270 for the President, that should’ve been your cue to say, “All right; I’m done. Let me call this man, congratulate him, and crawl my ass on a stage and concede.” Dragging it out as long as he did just ain’t cool.

I wonder how Mitch McConnell feels knowing that – and I quote – “the single most important thing we want to achieve is for President Obama to be a one-term president” was an abject failure? Dude…all the bravado in the world won’t help you now. Granted, he did go on to say “but if he changes, I want to work with him,” but I think that ship had sailed and sunk a while ago.

I really need Donald Trump to have a couple of seats. His ridiculous tweets about how the election process failed is childish on so many levels. And, he’s clamoring for a revolution? A REVOLUTION?! Excuse my crassness, but…nigga please. Sarah Palin can go follow suit. These blithering imbeciles are part of the problem in this country, because they seek to widen the divide that we have in the guise of helping.

The Redskins Rule has failed again. For those who are uninitiated, the Redskins Rule basically says that if Washington wins its final home game before the election, the incumbent party keeps the White House. That was disproven in 2004, but it was modified to refer to the party that won the popular vote.

I took a 24 hour sabbatical from social media yesterday, and it was tough. That being said, it wasn’t tough enough for me to hop back into the fray. I value my fleeting sanity enough to not do something like wade in the political shitstorm during a Presidential election.

That’s all I got for now, I think. If something else comes up, I’ll amend it here.

Today is Election Day; go vote.

I’m not gonna tell you who to vote for, because that’s not my job. My job is fixing computers, writing movie reviews, and talking about new Bluray and Netflix Instant Streaming releases. But, it’s my civic duty to go vote, and so I shall.

Who I’m voting for is my business, so don’t expect me to share. Also, don’t presume who I’m voting for because of the color of my skin. That means nothing.

I’m voting my conviction.

I’m not voting because of some attack ad. I’m not voting because of some talking head on my TV screaming about the ills of one person and the virtues of someone else. I’m not voting because of my religion, because we have a little thing called the Separation of Church and State. I’m not voting because of some perceived team loyalty. So, let’s get that out of the way.

I’m voting for the people I vote for because I’ve done my homework. I’ve looked at everything I could find on the candidates that made their information publicly known – which is all of them. I’m making an informed and educated decision, and I hope all of you are doing the same.

And, remember: regardless of what happens today, the sun will still come out tomorrow. We’ll still be here, and we won’t be hit by an asteroid because your candidate didn’t win.

See y’all tomorrow.