31st Jul2012

The Maestro

by Mr. Joseph

Every now and then, inspiration strikes me. This bout of inspiration hit me during my driving time for my Summer Feeding route (don’t ask). When I got to a decent stopping point, I pulled up the YouTube on my phone (a rooted Sony Ericsson Xperia PLAY – yes, it’s as crappy as you imagine, but it’s through C Spire Wireless; I’m getting what I’m paying for) and did a quick search for John Williams music. As I’ve mentioned before, I’m a big John Williams fan; I think he’s the most iconic composer in recent history. Anyway, I decided on this to guide me to my next destination:

 

 

It was listening to this that led me to a fairly believable conclusion; a conclusion that I plastered over Twitter and Facebook:

 

 

Bear in mind that this is also a conclusion that was mentioned on Cracked.com, but I have no problems in giving credit where credit is due. That, and I love Cracked.com, because they’re awesome.

Anyway, this is what I want you to do…think about a hungry shark. What’s the music you think of? Wait, don’t tell me…it was this:

 

 

It’s okay, I understand. I never saw the movie – because I’m scared shitless of horror movies – and it was still the first thing I thought of. Okay, here’s another one: what about space travel? Say, something along the lines of a space opera? Would it be this?

 

 

All right, that was a tough one. But, to be fair, you could’ve thought of Star Trek or Battlestar Galactica or Babylon 5…okay, maybe not Babylon 5. Anyway, so I got you on that one. But, here’s one: what about an intrepid archaeologist out searching for treasures galore in exotic locales? Did you hear this?

 

 

I bet you did! Here’s another one: think about a man who can fly…

 

 

Yeah, that one was too easy. All right, one more, and this one is even easier! Think…WIZARDS!

 

 

I remember riding to and from work while taking my daughter to daycare, and we would listen to the soundtrack for Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban. She’d be all fussy and stuff, but she calmed down right quick when she heard Hedwig’s Theme. This fact makes me happy, because we’re sharing in this together, and I hope it’s something that lasts for a lifetime.

Point is, I could go on and on about this ad nauseam, but I think I’ve made my point. The point is, John Williams is an indomitable force, a composer who is responsible for creating memories that have lasted a lifetime, and memories that we can pass on to our children as they begin to develop a love for the art of music.

In my opinion, this is one of the greatest gifts we could ever give to them.

Category : Entertainment, Personal
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24th Jul2012

Rational Control

by Mr. Joseph

I tried to stay on the sidelines; I really did. But, there are times when my hand is forced. This is one of those times.

In the wake of the Aurora, CO shooting that left 12 people dead and 59 people injured, there was a massive outpouring of sympathy from all over the country. That’s a good thing, because it means we’re still human here. Of course, it also brought out the talking heads to scream their agendas for the world to hear, and for their avatars to spread their message to the unwashed masses like a clean rag of justice.

To those people I say, “Stop it.”

Here’s the deal: I’ve been seeing a lot of my Conservative friends saying silly things like, “Well, if someone in the theater had a gun, they could’ve shot him before he killed anyone.” Or better yet, swapping out the pronoun “they” with “I”. There are a couple of problems with that scenario, and I’ll take them in no particular order. Number one: there is no way in hell you would’ve stopped him. None. I don’t care how badass you may think you are…you’re not. There was tear gas everywhere, it was dark, and people were running around in a panic. What the hell do you think you would’ve done? There is only one person I can think of who would’ve been able to stop him, and that’s Commander Shepard from the Mass Effect series…but Commander Shepard ain’t real.

Number two: let’s say you did have a gun, and let’s say you did get some shots off. Chances are that – while you may get him (that’s a giant leap of faith there) – you may also shoot and kill innocent bystanders as well. Then what? In your haste to be a hero, you just killed an innocent person whose only crime was getting in your way while trying to get away from a bunch of whackjobs with guns. Would you want that on your conscience? I know I wouldn’t. On that note, if you’re the type of person to say, “Oh, that’s just collateral damage,” then I don’t think I want to know you anymore. Remove yourself from my life immediately.

Now, there are my Liberal leaning friends who say that all guns are evil and that all guns should be outlawed. To those people I say, “Stop it.” The problem isn’t that all guns are bad. It’s that people are. We humans have a propensity for finding new and inventive ways to kill each other. If he didn’t have a gun, he would’ve done something worse. Maybe he would’ve had some explosives in a van and ran that into the theater, killing more people. Or maybe he would’ve taken that van and run over people as they left the theater. Then what? You gonna outlaw vans?

Look: there is never a clear answer for people like his guy. Hell something like this is even mentioned in The Dark Knight when Alfred is talking to Bruce Wayne: “Some men just want to watch the world burn.”

Step back and think about a better way to keep everyone safe, and stop jumping to extremes. We’ll all be better off for it in the long run.

Category : Current Events, Politics
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05th Jul2012

Random Ramblings

by Mr. Joseph

I haven’t done this in a while, but my mind gets cluttered with bits and pieces of random thoughts – hence the name of the site. And, due to my inability to review the movies I want to, I’ll be doing the ramblings more frequently.

To that end, here’s what’s been on my mind lately. You’ve been warned.

- After watching both the BBC series Sherlock and the 2011 film A Sherlock Holmes: Game of Shadows (review forthcoming), I’m convinced that Hollywood should leave Sir Arthur Conan Doyle’s masterpiece alone. The 2009 film was brilliant, but the 2011 sequel was a convoluted mess.

- I don’t mind a tropical climate, but I am not a fan of 100+ heat. I went to Birmingham last weekend and thought I was going to die from spontaneously combustion. I generally wouldn’t complain about such matters, but that was flat-out insane. I know a lot of people consider Birmingham to be hell, but it ain’t that serious.

- To that end, living in Lower Alabama for over eight years has almost completely obliterated my ability to drive defensively and aggressively. I almost got run off the road at least four times by speeding cars. Of course, there were no state troopers around, but if it were me doing the aggressive driving…

- Staying out of politics has helped me to realize how fucked up the political arena really is. It’s not a matter of discussing the issues anymore; it’s more about talking points. That, and money. Our next President will be chosen by whoever has the most money in their campaign – not what they can do for the American people.

- I’m not a fan of buying potato chips that were bagged. Why? Because they’re half air, and that’s being generous. I once bought a bag of chips that was mostly air…and potato chip crumbs. Sad thing is, as much as I’d like to complain about that, they’re following FDA guidelines – while giving consumers the shaft.

- I miss the tranquility of Thanksgiving and Christmas. Sure, everything was commercial back then, but it didn’t affect me personally. Now? Thanksgiving is for me now what Christmas used to be: a way to spend time with family and friends…not to buy the newest toy that will be ignored in lieu of playing with the box.

That’s all I got – I think. If something else comes up, rest assured I’ll make mention of it with another post.

Category : Random Ramblings
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