25th Feb2012

Battlefield 3: The Movie

by Mr. Joseph

Being the father of an almost one year old means I don’t really get much of an opportunity to get out of the house.  Thankfully, I was able to get away for a couple of hours, and what did I do with it?   I caught a movie, of course!  Today’s movie was Act of Valor.  The Relativity Media production, which is rated R, stars Roselyn Sanchez, Nestor Serrano, Alex Veadov, Emilio Riviera, and – this is no joke – U.S. Navy SEALs.  There are a lot of things that can be said about a movie like this, but let’s be honest: it’s a recruitment tool for the Navy in general, and the SEALs to be specific.  Being that I served 11 years in the U.S. Navy, I felt a certain way about the movie.  I was looking forward to seeing the Navy depicted in a way other than either the punchline to an incredibly lame joke or cannon fodder for sci-fi blockbusters (I’m looking at you, Roland Emmerich and Michael Bay).  With this movie having the full backing of the Department of the Navy (take that, Top Gun and Crimson Tide, to name a few), I wasn’t really worried about what I was about to see.  I WAS worried about one thing in particular, but we’ll get there when we get there.

This is the part where I talk about the plot, right?  Yeah, well…okay, I guess.  The movie kicks off with a SEAL reading a letter to someone onscreen, and it is interspersed with a SEAL team getting ready to do a training HALO (high altitude low opening) jump, before being introduced to a Special Ops Chief (SOC) and a SPECWAR lieutenant in a bar.  The lieutenant tells the Chief that he and his wife are expecting their first child, and to not tell anyone.  Of course, the Chief tells the waitress who tells the entire bar, with everyone bursting into cheers.  We then take a trip to Cambodia, where we see a terrorist bomb an international school, killing a US Ambassador who was outspoken when it came to matters of anti-terrorism.  We then go to Central America, where we meet CIA Agent Lisa Morales (Roselyn Sanchez), who is undercover as a nurse, while keeping tabs on a drug smuggler known as Christo (Alex Veadov).  After a nice montage introducing us to the team, we find out that Morales was kidnapped, and the SEAL team is sent in to rescue her.  Of course, there is a bigger picture that no one could see coming, and the SEALs begin to realize there is a bigger plan ahead.

What did I like about this movie?  Well, the action scenes were fantastic.  There weren’t a whole lot of wasted shots; it was almost always a head shot.  Some of the camera angles put me in the mindset of any number of first-person shooter games; the only thing that’s missing is an HUD.  The cinematography as a whole was spot-on.  Whether it was the FPS view I just mentioned, the HALO jump scenes, or even a particularly good shot of a water excursion, the camera was always in the right place at the right time.  I know that sounds hokey, but it’s true.  The score by Nathan Furst was palpable, although it did get to the point of being overly telegraphed.  You could tell something serious was about to go down just by listening to the audio cues.

Now, what didn’t I like about this movie?  Well, everything begins and ends with the acting, and this acting was TERRIBLE!  The SEALs get a bit of a pass here, because they’re not actors.  Everybody else, though?  Boring to terrible.  It felt like they were trying too hard, and the end result was everyone going home disappointed.  The plot was so piecemeal that it really drug the movie down.  It’s almost as if someone brought in all of these action scenes and then told the writers, “Write something to make sense of all this.”  In this regard, you get what you pay for.  There is a point that is solely telegraphed from frame one, and I’m embarrassed to admit that I missed it.  It wasn’t until it happened when I went, “Oh…derp, derp.” Just as an aside, I’m gonna be completely honest: if you don’t like propaganda, don’t watch this movie.  It wears its propaganda on its chest, and it doesn’t hold back.

The movie was directed and produced by Mike McCoy and Scott Waugh, and this film was even possible due to their previous work with SPECWAR Crewmen that used actual SEALs.  They then looked at what they had and decided to make an action film out of it, with the Navy giving them the blessing to go forth and use real SEALs.  In fact, it was required by the Navy to use Active Duty SEALs in the principle roles, because it was impossible to get actual actors to bring forth the physicality and realism needed for the parts.

I left out a part of the movie that I liked, and I did it by design.  After the completely telegraphed ending, it says that it is dedicated to the SEALs that gave the ultimate sacrifice from 9/11 onward: then, it listed the names of the fallen.  That was a nice touch that really hit home with me.  Then, they dedicated it to those going downstream in the future.  That was even better for me , because it honored the past and looked towards the future.  Despite its inherent flaws, I did enjoy the movie.  I chuckled at points, gasped at others, and rolled my eyes at a few places.  But, in the end, I’m not disappointed I saw it.  I’ll consider this movie three and a half times More Epic Than Love Jones.  It’s a fun time, and it’s worth about 100 minutes of your time.

HOOYAH!

23rd Feb2012

Popped!

by Mr. Joseph

Let me get this out of the way now, before I completely go off the rails: I am not a journalist.  I’m a blogger.  I have no journalistic rules to follow.  I can let fly whatever I feel the need to, and I do it not out of malice, but out of the need to get some things off my chest.  I choose to follow some of the laws of journalism because I feel it’s the right thing to do in certain aspects.  I may let some mean-spirited things fly, but it’s not because I hate her; I have no real hate for no one.  I let them fly because I’m being cantankerous, and it’s cathartic.  Never in anything I write will you find me calling anyone a racist name.  The only reason I’d even mention that would be if I were quoting someone.  It would never come out willingly.  Thank you for your time, and your readership.

Okay……*deep breath*

This is a subject that I had no prior knowledge of until today.  One of the many podcasts I listen to is a podcast called “Let’s Do This!!!” It’s a part of a movie and video game review website called Spill.com, and the entire site is full of goodness.  I highly recommend anyone interested in either movies or video games or just interested in entertaining conversations altogether, should check it out.  But, enough of the commercial for Spill.com.  The latest episode of Let’s Do This!!! pointed out an article that was…well..disturbing.

K-Pop star Jenny Hyun was filled with rage by the following tweet by boxer Floyd “Money” Mayweather:

Her response?  Well…let’s just say she didn’t begin a twitter tirade in response to Mayweather lightly.

What?!

As much as I would like to dissect this piece by piece, it would be time consuming, and quite frankly, she’s not worth that much of my time.  Something has served to make me laugh, though; this following portion:

Why?

WHY?!

YOU JUST SAID IT, YOU DUMBO!

Your conclusion may be unbiased, but your maturity level is low.  My daughter is more mature than you are, and she isn’t even a year old yet!  It’s like this…you don’t pull out every racist tirade in the book, up to and including the genocide of an entire group of people!  FOR ONE IDIOT!

Also, I don’t really think posting this meme on your website is going to garner you a whole lot of support from anyone:

Neither are your non-apologies:

You don’t regret what you said?  Cool. I don’t regret writing and posting this blog as a retort.  Sure, violence isn’t the answer, but at least you’re not saying that people are infringing on your Freedom of Speech rights, because they’re exercising the same rights themselves.

As am I.

Look…Floyd Mayweather doesn’t speak for the entire black race, just like I don’t think you speak for all Koreans.  If you two want to go into an insane death match against each other, be my guest.  But, please don’t lump everyone into the same tub of shit just because you don’t agree with one festering imbecile.  Take your frustrations out on him…not on everyone else.

Hopefully, she’ll take her own words to heart:

Sources: Soompi.com – K-Pop Songwriter’s Racist Tweets Spark Outrage, Asian Junkie.com – Jenny Hyun, Songwriter For SNSD & Chocolate, Is a Racist Psychopath, Spill.com – Let’s Do This!!! – February 20, 2012

20th Feb2012

Lin-sane Punishment

by Mr. Joseph

NEW YORK, NY - FEBRUARY 19: Jeremy Lin #17 of the New York Knicks takes a jump shot over Dirk Nowitzki #41 of the Dallas Mavericks during the game on February 19, 2012 at Madison Square Garden in New York City. (Photo by Nathaniel S. Butler/NBAE via Getty Images)

Okay, as I’ve mentioned before, I am a Dan Patrick fan. Ive been following his career since he and Keith Olbermann made SportsCenter a household name.  As such, I’ve tended to side with him when it comes to certain matters, be it sports or otherwise. This…is one of those times.

The New York Knicks have been in the news lately, thanks in large part to the insane play of their point guard Jeremy Lin.  Jeremy Lin is a Taiwanese-American basketball player from Palo Alto, California. He went to Harvard and had a pretty good collegiate career. He wasn’t drafted in the NBA, but he got picked up by the Golden State Warriors. They didn’t know what to do with him, so he got released and picked up by Houston.  They had far too many point guards on their roster, so they let him go and he got picked up by the Knicks. They were a stone’s throw away from cutting him until an injury to Carmelo Anthony and a tragedy in Amare’ Stoudamire’s life set up a chance for Jeremy Lin to step up and play ball.

And, play ball he did.

The Knicks went from a blubbering mess of a team to winners of – as of this writing – eight of their last nine, and Linsanity has swept the nation.  With that comes clever puns on his last name (my favorite is “Super Lintendo Entertainment System”) and celebrity matchmakers (Kim Kardashian has hovered her black hole of fame towards him…with hilarious results).  Also, there comes controversy.

A few days ago, ESPN’s Mobile Site put up a headline following the Knicks’ 89-85 loss to the decaying carcass of the New Orleans Hornets that read as follows:

ESPN Mistake

Also, a broadcaster for ESPNews was talking to legendary Knicks point guard and current commentator Walt “Clyde” Frazier about Lin, and he said the same thing.  ESPN fired the headline writer and suspended the broadcaster for 30 days.  Now, in listening to Dan Patrick, he says that ESPN should’ve had someone to proofread the headline, and probably shouldn’t have suspended the commentator for so long.  I can agree with that.  I’m not just saying that because I am not a fan of “The W0rldwide Leader,” because that would be hypocritical.  To paraphrase Dan, they’re a multibillion dollar organization, and they can’t spring for an editor for their mobile site?  In my opinion, both people should’ve been suspended for two weeks without pay.  To completely fire one and suspend the other for a month is ridiculous.

Eventually, companies and corporations are going to have to start taking responsibility for their own actions instead of just pruning those who have sullied their image.  And, no…one is not mutually exclusive of the other.  But, I guess this is why I’m not in charge of a company or a corporation, because I will accept responsibility for the actions of my company and make the steps to ensure that it doesn’t happen again.  There is a such a thing as sensitivity training, and maybe ESPN should’ve used it instead of cutting off their noses to spite their face.

Of course, this is just my opinion…I could be wrong.

17th Feb2012

Beautiful Scenery

by Mr. Joseph

I was having a discussion with one of my followers earlier tonight about vacation spots, and it made me think about my favorite spots from my time in the Navy.  During that tine, I got to see many places, some great…others, not so much (I’m looking at you, Bermuda).  These are my favorite five places (in no particular order) that I’ve visited and I’ve sworn to visit again sometime before I die.  My traveling bucket list, if you will.

Villefranche-su-Mer/Monaco

 

My God, that was a gorgeous place.  We were fortunate to anchor outside of Villefranche around my birthday.  In fact, my birthday was a spectacle I hadn’t seen since.  Granted, it’s because it was also France’s Independence Day (Bastille Day), but still…I pretended it was for me.  Why?  Because I’m weird, that’s why.  I mean, look at the above picture of Villefranche!  It was the best birthday ever!  It was the first time I ever had a martini, plus my years of French class came into good use.  Bear in mind, my French was rustier than a nail in the rainforest, but still.

St. Maarten

 

When we anchored off the coast of Philipsburg, and I looked out from the ship, you could’ve knocked me over with a feather.  The scenery was flat-out spectacular.  If you could imagine paradise, it would look like St. Maarten.  The beaches were glistening white, the waters were crystal blue, and the people were friendly and polite.  My best friend introduced me to the test to make sure you were drunk or not: tap your teeth.  She gave me a Midori Sour or two and told me to tap my teeth.  I couldn’t feel a thing, and I threatened to cuss her ass out.  In fact, I think I did.  That was a great time, and I enjoyed every second of it – the accursed Midori Sours be damned.

Venice

The thing I remember most about Venice is the Navy’s missing Fourth Fleet.  We went to a concert that was held solely on gondolas, and that was a sight to behold.  All of the gondolas circled one giant gondola, and there was a small orchestra in the middle of it, serenading the assembled audience.  It was a sight to behold.  Of course, there were more things to see in Venice – the Rodin museum comes to mind.  That gondola concert will always hold a special place in my mind, though.

Puerto Rico

Puerto Rico was one of the first port visits I had, and as such, it will always hold a special place in my heart.  Not only that, there was one visit in particular that is referenced to this day.  I went to Condado with a couple of my friends, and we were looking for something to eat after a fun night at the casinos (I did no gambling, by the way).  While walking around the city, we saw what looked like a hole in the wall.  We went there and saw that they had steak.  We ordered the steak, and I asked the waiter if they had steak sauce.  He said probably, but he slyly added that I wouldn’t need it.  Boy, was he right.  That was the best steak I’ve ever had.  In fact, I haven’t had one that good since.

Halifax, Nova Scotia

Halifax, Nova Scotia

Last, but not least, we have Halifax, Nova Scotia.  What’s so special about Halifax?  I don’t know.  All I remember for sure was that it was nice, they had a building called the Liquordome, and that the girls were cute.  Oh, and they had a castle.  I don’t remember much about the castle, but I do remember buying my mom a green sweatshirt from the gift shop.  I’m sure there is more, but nothing is coming to mind at the present.

Honorable mentions go out to Curacao, Cartagena, Spain, and the United Arab Emirates.

04th Feb2012

Getting a Clu

by Mr. Joseph

NOTE: I know I haven’t done a movie review in a while, and I do apologize for that.  However, I’m doing one now, so enjoy.

So, I broke my almost three-month sabbatical (not intentional, mind you) and went home.  I went to visit family and friends as usual, but also went to support the university that I love in an issue that’s incredibly important to all of us.  Of course, that’s not what I’m talking about right now.  What I’m talking about now is the fact that my mom and I sat down and watched a movie on Netflix.  The movie we picked was the 2010 winter blockbuster Tron: Legacy.  The Walt Disney production – rated PG-13, stars Garret Hedlund, Olivia Wilde, Jeff Bridges, and Bruce Boxleitner.  Now, I don’t necessarily know if this is a bad thing or not, but I have no real familiarity with the specifics of the original Tron, so I was essentially going into this with a clean slate.  I know the generalities, though; so, we’ll see how it works from here.

The movie begins in 1989 with an intro featuring a young Kevin Flynn (Jeff Bridges) and his son Sam (Owen Best).  Flynn was telling his son a story about how he created the universe of the Grid, with Clu as its overseer and Tron as its protector.  He gets to a certain point in the story, but doesn’t finish it, as he’s called off for a meeting.  That’s the last Sam sees of his father, as he disappears shortly thereafter.  Fast forward to present day, where Sam (Garrett Hedlund) is now the primary shareholder of ENCOM International, but has nothing to do with the operations of the company, only stopping by once a year to play a practical joke on the members of the board of directors.  After being arrested during a spectacular escape, Sam is visited by his father’s friend Alan Bradley (Bruce Boxleitner).  Alan tries to reel Sam in, but to no avail.  He eventually mentions that he received a page from his father’s old arcade, but also mentions that the phone number for the arcade has been out of service for years.  Sam goes to investigate, but he inadvertently gets pulled into the Grid.  There, he’s assimilated into the games and comes face to face with his father’s creation, Clu (Jeff Bridges).  He also runs into a renegade named Quorra (Olivia Wilde) who reintroduces him to his father; who has been trapped in the Grid for decades.  From here, the movie turns into a race to get Sam and Kevin back home, while defending the Grid from Clu and his forces.

So…what worked in this movie?  Well, the action scenes are certainly exciting.  Upon Sam’s insertion in the Grid, the action starts right away.  We get to see the disk wars, where programs face off against each other in gladiatorial combat.  They use frisbee-type discs on their backs as projectile weapons that can ricochet off of walls and break floors.  A loss in these games mean instant derezzing, which is pretty much death for them.  They then move on to the most famous of the games, which is the Light Cycles.  I’m not gonna explain what the Light Cycles are; if you haven’t seen Tron or Tron: Legacy, look up “light cycles” on YouTube.  You’re welcome.  They also introduce Light Jets near the end of the film.  These are essentially the same as the Cycles, only bigger.  I could go on and on about the battle scenes, but they speak for themselves.  The acting is also pretty good at spots, especially when the actors are actually facing each other.  This may seem weird, but stick with me…it’s important.  I especially loved Michael Sheen in his role as Castor.  He’s hilariously over the top, and it’s a riot to watch him strut his stuff.  Also, I’d be remiss if I failed to mention the soundtrack.  Daft Punk really put forth an amazing effort with the score.  In fact, it’s one of those scores that was so good that they would’ve been foolish not to use it in the trailer (here’s a hint: they did).

Now, as far as what didn’t work, let’s just say that acting off of green screen is difficult for anyone, even for the most accomplished of thespians.  I’ll give Jeff Bridges credit here; when he had to act off of himself, it looked good.  Not very convincing, but even he has admitted that it was difficult for him to do.  It also gets bogged down in the middle.  It leads off with these great battles, then it comes to a screeching halt.  It picks up for a scene or two before grinding to a halt once again.  Finally, it speeds up in the third act, but most people would’ve probably gone for coffee by this point.  Finally, there’s the issue of Quorra.  I shouldn’t really have to do this, but…SPOILER!  She gets yanked into the real world.  None of that makes any sense, and it’s never explained how she survived that.  But, whatever…

After watching the movie, I tweeted the following statement:

Tron: Legacy wasn’t too bad.  Not great by any stretch of the imagination, but not terrible.  It’s interesting.

I stand by that statement.  It’s not a world changer at all, but it’s not something I hated watching, either.  It was a good time killer, and it actually tried to be a bit more interesting than the usual fare.  It didn’t quite hit the mark, but it didn’t bomb, either.  So, I’ll say that it’s at least three times More Epic than Love Jones.  Go ahead and check it out…at least for the score alone; it can’t hurt.

There are worst things to watch on a lazy day.